Joe Biden’s amazing DNC speech: Donald Trump is full of ‘malarkey’

We’re going to do several posts from Day 3 of the DNC last night, because unlike the strange lull of Day 2, Day 3 was full of barn-burner speeches and it was amazing. First, Vice President Joe Biden came out and Ol’ Handsome Joe was in rare form. He was so great, in fact, that people were sort of wondering aloud if this election would have been a lot different if Biden had run this cycle. He said last year that he just couldn’t run again so soon after his son’s passing, and I respect his decision. But it was still bittersweet, because Biden lives to serve his country. Biden’s speech was sad, funny, optimistic and he threw in some old-fashioned “malarkey” just for good measure.

He fit a lot into a speech that was less than 20 minutes long. He made a passionate endorsement of Hillary Clinton and a particularly pointed takedown of Donald Trump. Biden actually delivered one of the most cogent assessments of Trump too:

“His cynicism is unbounded. His lack of empathy and compassion can be summed up in a phrase I suspect he’s most proud of having made famous: ‘You’re fired.’ I’m not joking; think about that… He is trying to tell us he cares about the middle class. Give me a break. That’s a bunch of malarkey!! I know I’m called middle-class Joe, and in Washington that’s not meant as a compliment. It means you’re not sophisticated. But I know why we’re strong. I know why we have held together. I know why we are united. It’s because we’ve always had a growing middle class. This guy doesn’t have a clue about the middle class — not a clue. He has no clue about what makes America great. Actually, he has no clue… No major-party nominee in the history of this nation has ever known less or has been less prepared to deal with our national security.”

On Morning Joe this morning, they talked about how Day 3 was “appeal to swing voters and disaffected Republicans” Day. Could be. After Biden spoke, Mike Bloomberg came out. Bloomberg used to be a Republican, then an Independent, and now I’m not even sure. He’s Independent-Dem. I usually think Bloomberg is a charisma vacuum, but I ended up enjoying the hell out of Bloomberg’s speech. It was a glance of how actual rich people view Donald Trump: they think he’s stupid, gauche and a terrible businessman. I don’t know who wrote this, but it was a surprisingly great speech.

Apparently, Bloomberg ad-libbed the line “let’s elect a SANE, competent person…” That was a huge applause line.

“What do you think the Fall Out Boy cover of the ‘Ghostbusters’ song?” links

“What do you think the Fall Out Boy cover of the ‘Ghostbusters’ song?” links

Fall Out Boy did the new Ghostbusters song and it’s a pile of nope. [Dlisted]
Priyanka Chopra is pretty in Paris. [Moe Jackson]
Donald Trump’s first Brexit tweets were really ignorant. [Mashable]
Taylor Swift’s got a diss track about Kim Kardashian already? [The Blemish]
Everyone’s talking about Variety’s oral history of The Devil Wears Prada. [LaineyGossip]
Leslie Jones’ Game of Thrones analysis is the best. [Pajiba]
Parker Posey is still the most glamorous person ever. [Go Fug Yourself]
Brexiters are shocked that their votes mattered. Derp. [Jezebel]
Baby wombats make it all better. [OMG Blog]
Did Jules Wainstein get fired from RHONY? [Reality Tea]
Chloe Moretz’s street style still seems off to me. [Popoholic]
Heidi Klum was freezing in NYC yesterday. [Celebslam]

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Special thanks Cele Bitch

Tom Hiddleston: ‘I’m here to tell you that my butt is not dangerous’

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I still find Tom Hiddleston’s W Magazine editorial to be the funniest thing of the week. Now that I’ve had more time to process it, it’s actually even funnier to me. The thing is, I don’t doubt that Tom can be a sexy guy. But Tom needs the right conditions, and the right conditions don’t involve a brightly lit room, white boxer shorts and Zoolander poses. The editorial still seems like a satire of what a “sexy” dude photoshoot should be. Imagine Mike Meyers or Will Ferrell doing the same editorial and it would be JUST AS FUNNY.

There’s been a lot of breast-beating amongst the true-blue Dragonflies and Hiddlestoners that W Magazine did Tom wrong, that this editorial was supposed to be part of a larger profile of up-and-coming TV stars or Emmy hopefuls, maybe. Perhaps that’s the case. But that still doesn’t explain why in God’s name Tom agreed to the photoshoot. Someone needs to be fired! The editorial is the visual equivalent of Tom’s trying-too-hard Graham Norton interview. And besides that, my guess is that someone on Tom’s team had to give the go-ahead to W Mag to run this piece as an “Introduction to Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend!” article. And if that’s the case, someone should be fired.

I didn’t get around to discussing this new quote from the W piece either – Tom was asked about how AMC edited out his naked butt from the American airing of The Night Manager. Tom says:

“I was surprised to hear that they cut my butt out. I’m here to tell you that my butt is not dangerous. And there are many, many more dangerous things that people are happy to broadcast. I don’t know what that says about the world we live in, but it probably says something.”

[From W Magazine]

I watched TNM as it aired on AMC and let me tell you, I felt that edit in my soul. It’s not that I was that hungry for Hiddlesbum, it’s that the edit made it seem like Jonathan Pine and Jed’s lovemaking lasted about 30 seconds, if that.

Meanwhile, I have to say, I’ve been avoiding a lot of the “think pieces” on TIDDLES, because I do this for a living and it pains me a little bit when people write about Hiddleston or Taylor Swift without understanding their individual histories. If you’ve followed Taylor’s romantic history, nothing about TIDDLES is a surprise at all. If you’ve followed Tom’s romantic history, everything about TIDDLES is a surprise. Which brings me to this “think piece” at the NY Post – “Taylor Swift Is Dating Like A Dude.” The main argument is that Taylor: A) doesn’t apologize, B) is not afraid to air her dirty laundry and trash-talk exes, C) rolls with an entourage, and D) rebounds quickly. While I agree that Taylor is feeling herself these days, when I think of “women who date like dudes,” I think of women like Kate Hudson or even (dare I say) Gwyneth Paltrow. They own their sh-t. And most importantly, they don’t play the victim. We’re about one month away from Taylor crying to Vanity Fair that she’s being “slut shamed” because she staged photos of her romantic rendezvous with Hiddles.

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Farrah Abraham Dumps Simon Saran, Shills Dating App

Remember last week when we reported that Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran are back together?

Well, it turns out the reconciliation only lasted about as long as Farrah’s porn career.

Farrah Abraham Dating App

According to her latest Instagram posts, it seems Farrah and Simon have broken up once again.

Or at the very least, Farrah is pretending they’ve called it quits so that she can hawk a new dating app with the implication that she’s looking to get busy with the sad souls who download it.

Ms. Abraham posted the above photo yesterday, along with the following caption:

“I love this new sexy app for singles who like to go out.”

She went on to extol the virtues of Peeq, which from what we can tell is a Tindr-like app for those seeking no-strings-attached sex.

In another post, Abraham encouraged users to “find” her on the app.

Again, Farrah is the type who would encourage “sexy singles” to hunt her down even if she were involved in a committed relationship, so there’s no guarantee that she’s once again kicked Simon to the curb.

But whatever the case, she’s Instagram single once again, and in Farrah Land, isn’t that all that really matters?

No, it’s also worth noting that Farrah is looking more like a soulless blow-up doll every day and poppin’ bottles with a six-foot Pikachu for some reason:

Farrah Abraham With Pikachu

The best part is that in the caption for this pic, she offers zero explanation for the presence of everyone’s favorite Pokemon.

Like so many things in Farrah’s life, it only makes sense to Farrah.

Just kidding, there’s no way she devotes the slightest thought to any aspect of her absurd existence.

Watch Teen Mom online to relive all of Farrah’s mist ridiculous moments.

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Anne Hathaway cried when a trainer made a comment about her ‘baby weight’

Anne Hathaway cried when a trainer made a comment about her ‘baby weight’

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Anne Hathaway is currently promoting her role in Alice Through the Looking Glass, which is why she appeared on The Ellen Show on Tuesday. This was actually her first TV interview since giving birth two months ago, and honestly, I already see a difference in Anne. She’s really sleep-deprived, for one. And as I said yesterday, I think the sleep deprivation is making her kind of punch-drunk. Anyway, she told a story about going back to the gym after she gave birth to her son, Jonathan Rosebanks (who she calls Jonny). Is two months too early to go back to the gym? It’s different for every woman, and I’m sure Anne’s doctors gave her the nod. But still, she really did just give birth, so she had a particularly emotional reaction when some dude made a comment about her “baby weight.”

Anne Hathaway gave birth only eight weeks ago, so she’s not totally ready to resume some of her normal routines. She did decide, however, that she would go back to the gym, but even that has been tough.

“Being a Mom has changed me in a couple ways. I actually, not based on this moment, but other moments feel a lot more confident. Normally you walk into the gym and you see, I work out in West Hollywood, so you see like Thor’s trainer, you know the people who have too many muscles to be in The Avengers that’s who works out at my gym,” she explains, adding that she has returned to the gym only three times. “So I would normally walk in and feel so intimidated, but I walk in I’m like yeah I work out with 5 pound weights, but I pushed a baby out of my body I feel good right now. So I don’t care what I look like, I feel great. I’m on this [row] machine, whatever that does.”

All of a sudden, someone started to stare at the Oscar-winning star, so at first she thought she was doing something incorrectly and became a little insecure. “I see this guy who does actually look like Thor’s trainer staring at me and I’m like, ‘Oh God. Am I doing something wrong?’” Hathaway recalls. “In the past I just would have slunk off my machine.”

With her new mommy confidence, Hathaway explains that she asked the trainer if everything was OK, and they struck up a short conversation. But it didn’t end there.

“He’s like, ‘So you been working out at this gym for a long time.’ And I’m like oh my God he’s hitting on me. Nice! New mom. I feel really good about myself and I’m like, ‘Oh, yeah I’ve been coming here for a little bit.’ He’s like, ‘Cool, I’m a trainer here and just wondering if you want some pointers.’ And I’m like, Oh no he’s not hitting on you he just wants a job.”

Spoiler alert: He didn’t get the job because instead of giving her the proper response after she revealed she had recently given birth, he body shamed her. “If somebody says I had a baby 13 years ago you say you look great. That is what you do that is the etiquette,” she explains on the show. “So I say to this guy I had a baby seven weeks ago. And he goes, ‘Oh, trying to lose the baby weight!’” Hathaway explains that she kept her cool in the moment, but afterwards she walked away and cried!

[From E! News]

To be fair to the dude-face trainer, he didn’t assume that she had just had a baby, he waited until she said it. And he didn’t say, “Oh, that’s why you look that way.” But yeah, it was rude. Really rude. There’s such an epidemic of rude gym trainers, right? I’ve been going to the same gym for years and I have my routine and I know what I’m doing (for the most part) and I stay in my particular comfort zone. But inevitably, a new trainer will show up and try to tell me what I should be doing in a really patronizing way. Like, “Oh, do you understand how the treadmill works?” Yes, trust me, I understand. Now go away. As for Anne’s situation, the guy just wanted work and he probably thought he was being helpful. And she should have told him to just go away. Or she could have gone to the manager in tears and gotten the guy fired. Which is a revenge fantasy that has gotten me through many workouts.

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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Special thanks Cele Bitch

Prince Harry got the Queen involved with trash-talking America ahead of Invictus

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Many of you already discussed this in Friday’s KING HARRY post, but it’s worth dedicating a full post to this. The Invictus Games are almost here, and this year’s games are being held in Florida. Considering First Lady Michelle Obama’s dedicated work with military families and veterans, she’s been all over the Invictus Games and she and Prince Harry have gotten quite close in the past few years in particular. Even when the Obamas came for dinner at Kensington Palace, Michelle and Harry were the only ones who greeted each other as intimate friends (Harry couldn’t help but go in for a kiss, right in front of the PRESIDENT!). The point is that Michelle and Harry enjoy each other. Michelle is one of us, I suspect: she sees Harry as the dirty-sexy, roguish ginger snap that we see too. So, on Friday, the First Lady and Pres. Obama issued a video challenge to Harry and Team Britain ahead of the Invictus Games:

Which is so cute. First the KP Twitter account tweeted out some special messages which came directly from Harry (as denoted by the “-H”).

Then the KP account retweeted this from David Wiseman, the captain of the British team.

Ooooh, shots fired!! You know it’s going down when a Brit starts sh-t talking PAUL REVERE. Before the Yanks could set fire to #AllTheTea, Harry decided to drop the coup de grace of sh-t talking though: he involved Her Majesty the Queen. Mic drop. BOOM.

First of all, does Harry just call FLOTUS “Michelle”? O RLY? While this trash-talking was obviously planned out, I still love it. I love that the Queen played along. I love that Harry pulled out the big guns with the Queen. What I don’t love? That Michelle hasn’t responded. Yet. Michelle will make him pay. Probably by making Harry give her a foot rub.

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The anti-Beyonce protest in NYC turned into a Black Lives Matter demonstration

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

You know what’s amazing? People are still SO MAD about Beyonce. They’re mad because Beyonce celebrated her blackness in the “Formation” video. They’re mad that she had the audacity to feature the phrase “stop killing us” in the video. They’re mad because something something black people and police. And they’re especially mad that Beyonce slayed at the Super Bowl and that she and her militant dancers threw up a Black Power salute during their performance.

My reaction to all of that outrage has been “…and?” Why wouldn’t Bey celebrate her blackness? Why wouldn’t she have something to say about cops killing people of color? Why would her militancy – or her use of militant imagery – offend people so damn much? So, all of the sad anti-Beyonce people decided to throw an anti-Beyonce protest in New York yesterday. And this is what happened:

And then to make matters even more amazing, a bunch of pro-Beyonce people came out, and they joined up with some Black Lives Matter organizers, and the whole thing turned into a pro-Beyonce, pro-BLM, anti-police-violence demonstration. AMAZING.

Still, all of that isn’t stopping wingnuts from blaming Beyonce for everything involving police and guns, etc. This story out of Tennessee is pretty crazy/stupid.

Here are some photos of Beyonce and Jay-Z going out to dinner last night in LA.

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