celebrities

Rihanna’s Not Trying to Be a Rebel

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I feel like Rihanna has kinda tamed herself in the past several months – or maybe we’re just that desensitized to her crotch patting, stripper visiting, ass-baring ways. Either way, I wasn’t really moved by her new interview in Vogue, in which she insists that she’s not trying to be a rebel, she’s just unconventional and likes going against the grain. Fair enough, of course, but I don’t really see Rihanna as a rebel at this point. She’s just… RiRi. She likes to get her ass out and smoke a lot of weed and that’s what she does. She’s never been a role model and isn’t trying to be and yada yada… so why is this still a discussion? Here’s what she had to say, anyway: “I don’t go out of my way to be a rebel or to have that perception, but a lot of the decisions I make, a lot of the direction I want to move, is against the grain, or against society’s tight lane. “I’m aware of that sometimes. It might not be fitting with the norm, but that’s okay for me.” Cool. On a side note, that hand tattoo is just horrendous. Why would you layer tattoos on top of one another? Why? And then show it off in a magazine? Just personal preference, of course, but dear God. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Kendall and Kylie Jenner “Wrote” a Book, Apparently

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It really kinda cracks me up that anyone is supposed to believe that Kendall and Kylie Jenner – teenagers who are more concerned with modeling and Instagram selfies than pretty much anything else in life – got together and sat down to write a Young Adult novel. However, we are indeed supposed to believe that, as the two are releasing Rebels: City of Indra. It’s a dystopian story that THEY DEFINITELY DID NOT WRITE that apparently centers on “two super-powered girls, Lex and Livia, who embark on a journey together, not realizing their biggest danger might be each other”. Yes, that sounds right up their alley! From E! Online: “Kylie and I love the creative challenge and are thrilled to have been given the opportunity to share this story,” Kendall said, while her sister added, “We can’t wait to share these characters and the world we created with readers everywhere. We are so excited!” Karen Hunter, publisher of Karen Hunter Publishing, adds, “The story that Kendall and Kylie crafted is a thrill ride—one that their fans and fans of this genre won’t be able to put down.” This piece of shit is coming out on June 6 – though actually, I’m probably being a bit hasty on my judgments. Given that this will have been ghostwritten, I bet it’ll actually be pretty good. I’m all about dystopian YA, but I think the fact that these two have been able to pay their way to calling themselves “authors” when I guarantee you they did nothing but sign a contract for the actual writer to execute this story kinda makes me want to stay far, far away. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Turns Out, Pharrell Is Not So Smart

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Pharrell is all the rage again these days, picking up awards left and right and really taking over mainstream pop. Between the success of his collaboration with Daft Punk and now ‘Happy’, which is a great fucking song and does indeed make one rather joyous, he’s riding high. Of course, we have to remember the start of this comeback, of sorts, which was his work with Robin Thicke on ‘Blurred Lines’, the worst song in history, and yet one of the catchiest. We all know Robin Thicke is a scumbag. Every single one of his songs is about how great his dick is and how you DEFINITELY want a bit of it, even if you say you don’t. After all, you just need some convincing, so don’t bother resisting, because he’s going to give it to you even if you say no. Robin Thicke is a borderline vocal rapist and everyone knows it, but apparently that’s not how Pharrell sees it. No, Pharrell thinks ‘Blurred Lines’ wasn’t about sex at all! In fact, he wouldn’t have liked all those naked women in the video if there was anything sexual about it. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH????????? Sorry, my brain just exploded. From Time Out: “There were lots of women who wanted to understand what we meant by those lyrics. But the two lines go: ‘You don’t need no papers/That man is not your maker’. “Boom! Lyrically, you’re done: there’s nothing else to talk about. ‘That man is not your maker’. Plus that treatment was written and shot by a female director, who’s a feminist.” “Is it sexist when you walk around in a museum and a lot of the statues have their boobs out? The women in that video weren’t doing anything sexual: they were only dancing. “Just because they had their boobs out, that was ‘sexist’. I didn’t do anything sexually suggestive to any of those women, I wouldn’t allow it. I have respect and I know the message that I want to put out. I’m a fun guy’.” Okay, I… don’t really know where to start with the sheer idiocy/ignorance here. First of all, saying TWO LINES in an entire song about how a man is not your maker does not give you a clean slate to do whatever the fuck else you wanna do for the rest of the track… especially when the rest of the track is you telling her that that OTHER guy might not tell her what to do, but YOU will because YOU know she “wants it”. And yes, your idea of a “fun” time as a guy is to have naked women dancing around you. If this wasn’t sexual – which, in the great words of Judge Judith Scheinlin, don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining – why would they need to be naked? What artistic purpose did it serve? That you fully clothed men are singing about convincing a woman how bad she wants you while they dance around you naked with pouty lips? Christ almighty. Sorry, Pharrell, not buying your sack of shit today. He’s either arrogant as shit and thinks we’re all stupid or HE is actually that stupid. I can’t decide which would be worse. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Leighton Meester and Adam Brody Got Married!

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Dig up that crossover AU fanfic you wrote in 2006, because it just came true! The OC‘s Adam Brody and Gossip Girl‘s Leighton Meester have tied the knot in a secret ceremony and now all of your teen fantasies have sprung to life. I mean, we did know it was coming – the pair went public with their relationship this time last year and  announced their engagement in November – but still! Excitement! (Or something…) I never watched either of those shows, so I don’t have much of a connection (or any) to either of those stars, but I do know that people were going crazy for this shit on Tumblr. I’ll tell you what I’m going crazy for right now: House of Cards! I actually started the first season last night and watched five episodes in a row. Now that’s some good TV. But I digress… From US Weekly: Gossip Girl would have a field day with this one! Less than three months after news of their engagement went public, Leighton Meester and Adam Brody have married in a super-secret wedding, multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly. Whoa! Cool “exclusive”, US Weekly! That really told us a lot! No further details are known on the ceremony, like, where it took place and when, who was there, what kind of cake they had, etc. I suppose that’s what US was getting at with the whole “super secret” thing. I dunno, guys – this one might actually last. Neither of them are really too much in the public eye these days and they’re low key enough to stay out of the tabloids. Do you think this is true love or is it another ill-fated union? Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Jason Derulo Gave Jordin Sparks 10,000 Roses for Valentine’s Day

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I love love as much as the next person, but 10,000 roses? COME ON! Jason Derulo wanted to show just how much he loves longtime girlfriend Jordin Sparks, so for Valentine’s Day, he literally sent 10,000 pink roses to her home (hotel room? hard to tell) to surprise her. Sure, I guess that’s “romantic”, but if that was me, I’d have asked why we couldn’t have spent the money on something better… like, say, 10,000 donuts or 10,000 slices of pizza. But, you know, that’s just me. What do you think of the gesture? Romantic or tacky? Follow us on Twitter | Facebook