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Justin Bieber wears junk-hugging Calvin Klein underwear

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File this under “Shit I Never Asked to See” – Justin Bieber‘s campaign for Calvin Klein underwear is out, and it’s… interesting. The photos were shared by Justin himself on his Twitter page today, and a bunch of pre-teens probably discovered their privates for the first time today as they gazed upon the fabric that surrounds his. Just a few questions: 1. Why does Justin Bieber think he’s David Beckham? 2. Who was the Photoshop specialist hired for Justin’s crotchal region? That’s right, crotchal. 3. Why does Justin’s head look too small for his body? 4. Why? Anyhow, I’m sure SOMEONE out there will enjoy these. Don’t say I never gave ya anything! It begins. @CalvinKlein #mycalvins :) pic.twitter.com/px0SJWVGSy — Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) January 6, 2015 Believe it. @justinbieber + @LaraStone for Calvin Klein. #mycalvins #JustinWereReady pic.twitter.com/sByVx2EggG — Calvin Klein (@CalvinKlein) January 6, 2015 Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber is a bleach blonde now

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Welp, I’m not quite sure what phase of his life Justin Bieber is currently in, but it’s one that includes him bleaching his hair and living as a blonde for now. Some have suggested that this move was to help him get over Selena Gomez, but I’m not sure I really get the logic. What, like women, he feels the need to make a big change to signify a new era in his life? Eh. Anyhoo, can we also talk about these horrendous tattoos? I mean, what the hell is that? It’s all too much and NOT a good look. He seems to be purposely trying to ruin himself – hopefully he ruins himself straight on out of the spotlight. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Want to live in Justin Bieber’s old bedroom?

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Justin Bieber grew up in Canada, where he spent a good portion of his time with his grandparents, at their house in Stratford, Ontario. Well, now Memaw and Pepaw are ready to sell up, and they’ve put the house on the market for $276,000 – and they’re marketing it well over the price it’s worth by using Justin’s name and the fact that his old bedroom is in the house! From TMZ: Justin’s grandparents are selling their 3-bedroom home in Stratford, Ontario … and one of those bedrooms belonged to young Biebs — who spent about 80% of his childhood at the house. The house is being marketed as Justin’s former crib.  As for the asking price … it’s pushing it, but grandma and gramps think a rich Belieber will ante up. Real estate sources say the home has been updated … but Justin’s room has been left intact — it’s decorated the way he liked it … with the logo of his favorite hockey team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, emblazoned on the bedding, curtains and wallpaper. It’s unfortunate that 12-year-olds don’t have $300k lying around, but I’m sure some grown ass sicko will pony up for this. Doesn’t Justin give his grandparents any money, though? Pushing up the price on the power of their grandson’s name seems sorta gross and plain greedy, but then… I guess that’s a family trait. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber needs surgery after cliff diving accident

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Another day, another instance of Justin Bieber doing something idiotic – only this time, he may be paying the price for it. You see, young JB thought it’d be a good idea (after a long day of trying to skateboard?) to go cliff diving, only things went wrong and he busted his eardrum, causing damage that probably needs to be corrected with surgery. Busted my ear drum cliff diving. Doc says might need surgery now. Sucks. — Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) September 24, 2014 Don’t worry, though – he won’t let that stop him from terrorizing YOUR eardrums! He’s still planning to make new music. My ear drum might back us up a little but I'm still bringing you this new music. Much love. Damn u cliff diving! — Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) September 24, 2014 I wish his eardrum could “back us up” forever so we never had to hear from this little shit again. I doubt we’ll get that lucky. Experiences like this should teach him some valuable lessons in risk assessment, reckless behaviour, etc, but we all know he’ll continue to do stupid shit for the rest of his life, so whatever. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber arrested, charged with assault and dangerous driving

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Justin Bieber is an asshole of epic proportions, so it’s no surprise that he’s continuing to rack up criminal charges with the best of them. You see, JB was arrested in Stratford, Ontario, Canada on Friday and charged with dangerous driving and assault after he got into an altercation with the driver of an ATV (who was, for the record, not a paparazzo). From CTV News: OPP say they were called to Line 40 east of Road 106 – east of the singer’s hometown of Stratford and northeast of Shakespeare – shortly before 3 p.m. Friday in response to a crash between a minivan and an ATV. A physical altercation occurred between the driver of the ATV and a person in the minivan following the crash, police said. Bieber, 20, faces charges of dangerous driving and dangerous driving and assault. Police say he was released from custody on a promise to appear in court. His next court date is set for Sept. 29. Fuuuuuck this kid. Can we not just put him in jail and throw away the key already? I know that won’t happen, but at the very least, he should not be allowed to operate a vehicle. AT ALL. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber is being investigated for attempted robbery

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Another day, another instance of Justin Bieber being an asshole – and potentially a criminal (again). This time around, he’s the subject of a potential attempted robbery case. Basically, he tried to steal a woman’s phone once he saw her taking video on her phone of him getting in a major fight with some dudes at a batting cage. From TMZ: The woman tells TMZ … Monday night she was at the Sherman Oaks Castle Park — a complex with miniature golf and a batting cage — when she spotted Justin and his entourage playing a little mini golf and then hitting balls. The woman says Justin and his crew got into an altercation with some guys at the batting cage when J.B. noticed she was going for her cellphone to take pictures.  She says Justin demanded to see her phone so he could erase any photos.  She says she refused to fork over the phone so he then went into her purse and grabbed it. The woman says she began wrestling with Bieber, trying to get her phone back.  She says he ripped it out of her hands but couldn’t accomplish his mission because the phone was locked. We reached out to Bieber’s camp before posting this story … so far, no word back. She says Justin gave her the phone back and demanded that she unlock it to see if she took photos.  She obliged and showed Justin she had taken none.  She says she told Justin she and her 13-year-old daughter just wanted to say hi, and Justin screamed, “You’re humiliating yourself in front of your daughter.  Why don’t you just get out of here.”  Her daughter started crying. She says at that point Justin turned and started screaming at someone else. The woman later complained to police and the LAPD are now investigating. Is this actually an attempted robbery? Eh, I suppose within the confines of the law it might be, but I don’t think I’m a good judge of this situation because I just want this kid to be punished for being an absolute dick. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber high fived his friends after egging his neighbor’s house

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Well, the fun just continues here, doesn’t it? Remember how Justin Bieber egged his neighbour’s house a few months back, apparently causing $20,000 worth of damage and possibly gaining a felony charge on his growing record? Well, police are adding to the story against him, claiming that he was all amped up and went around high-fiving his friends after tossing the eggs. I’m not sure what that proves, other than the fact that he’s an asshole immature kid, but okay, let’s go with it! From People: A search warrant affidavit, in which he’s called “Suspect Bieber,” alleges the pop star is captured on a security camera heading toward the neighbor’s house last January, then returning to his own driveway rejoicing with his pals. “He was approached by the group of males, some of whom Suspect Bieber is observed ‘high-fiving,’” writes Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Detective Ginni Alvarez in the affidavit. “Suspect Bieber and the other males appeared to be laughing and celebrating.” Apparently he wasn’t actually seen holding eggs, but come on, you know he did that shit. How this is going to make a difference to the court, however, is beyond me. So he high-fived his friends after egging a house? Seems about right, and last I checked, not a criminal act in and of itself. Are they trying to show that he’s more of an asshole than people realize? Seriously, message received on that one. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook