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Chris Brown Is a Gay Rights Advocate Now

chris brown

Chris Brown is a total piece of shit. Yes, I feel that “news” is worth opening every article with, because it’s true and it’s something to keep in mind. His anger issues, homophobia, tendency to beat women, etc. make him the ultimate candidate for dickhead of our generation. But wait, he’s just misunderstood! Everyone keeps picking on him but really he’s such a nice guy and he really loves everyone – especially the same gay people that he consistently used to bash and the fact that up until he flipped the script and tried to endear himself to the world again (never going to happen), “gay” was a pejorative in his world. Fuck off, man.

That’s right, Chris Brown is a gay rights advocate now, and even tweeted his support for a petition aimed at Cameroon’s President Biya after a string of recent hate crimes in the country.

Listen, Chris Brown’s fans are stupid enough to follow him despite his idiocy, so hopefully this bullshit gesture will still have a positive effect. The truth is that regardless of how much I might hate him, he does have an impact with millions, and it could give this important cause more visibility and pull, so I’m all for that. I will, however, never be for Chris Brown. Way to exploit a marginalized group of people for your own gain, bro.

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Chris Brown Is “Over” Beating Rihanna, Wishes Everyone Else Would Be Too

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Chris Brown, ugh. Loves to whine, loves to complain, loves to make excuses. He doesn’t see it that way, of course. He thinks we’re all dicks for not forgetting that he beat a woman until her face turned purple. Here’s what he tweeted today:

chris brown twitter

chris brown twitter

That would be fantastic, thanks.

He’s all pissy because he had to go to jail yesterday for a hit-and-run. He wasn’t held on bail and he was let go and the whole thing took 45 minutes, and the hit-and-run was all his fault. Again, not going to feel sorry for you for making poor decisions when you should know better. He’s bringing up this whole thing he’s apparently so “cool” and “over” because the hit-and-run is a violation of his probation, the one he’s on for attacking Rihanna, so pooooooor Chris Brown. It is so, so tacky to complain people won’t forgive you, in any situation. Forgiveness isn’t a right.

Thanks to Evil Beet

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Chris Brown Is a Gay Rights Activist Now

chris brown

Hold the phone! Chris Brown – infamous woman beater, gay hater and general piece of shit – has taken a stand against the injustices of homophobia and stepped out as a supporter of gay rights and “ethnic minorities” in the hopes of changing the world. LOL! I can’t with this asshole. Anyhow, he’s going to do this by… releasing a song. If you’re as confused by the logic as I am, let’s let Chris explain it himself, shall we?

Uh, first of all, you’re not an inspiration to anyone, unless you count yourself as an inspiration not to be a total dickhead like you. Second of all, the single he’s referring to is widely believed to be a song called ‘They Don’t Know’, which will have vocals from… Aaliyah. She’s rolling over in her grave, as you can imagine.

I can’t with any of this. Why won’t he go away?

Thanks to Evil Beet