The Tokyo Olympics starts in seven weeks! Crazy, I keep thinking it’s way in the future, but it definitely looks like we’re definitely getting some version of the summer Olympics. Japan and the Olympics committee are making changes and I think there’s still some back-and-forth about whether Olympic athletes will be able to bring their teams and their families into Tokyo, given the existing pandemic regulations throughout Asia. People might wonder why the games are even going ahead if there will be no tickets sold and everyone will compete with no audience – it’s because of the TV rights and sponsors. Japan might just break even financially if they hold the games simply because of the global broadcast rights. Still, 10,000 Olympics volunteers just dropped out because of – they say – the lack of vaccines available to them and the lack of Covid protocols on-site.
Speaking of Covid protocols…Olympic games are notorious for being two-week periods where all athletes are banging in the Olympic Village. What happens at the Olympic Games stays at the Olympic Games, and what happens is a sexual free-for-all. So Olympic organizers are doing what they always do, buying condoms in bulk. But they’re also discouraging athletes from banging in the village.
The Olympic Village is notoriously horny. And what else would you expect when you put a bunch of crazy-hot athletes ready to let off steam after competing under extreme pressure in a contained area? So naturally, every Olympics, condom brands stock the Village and dating apps prepare for a frenzy of activity (Grindr reportedly even crashed one year). For example, at the 2018 Olympics in South Korea, the Olympic village was stocked with more than 110,000 condoms (37 per athlete). That number was even higher at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio, when a whopping 450,000 condoms were distributed by the International Olympics Committee due to heightened concern around the sexually transmitted Zika virus.
This year, though, things look a bit different. Pre-COVID, per tradition, the Tokyo Olympics organizers arranged to have more than 160,000 free condoms provided in the Olympic Village (a modest 14 condoms per athlete), Insider reports. At the same time, they released a released 33-page playbook urging athletes to socially distance and “avoid physical contact, including hugs and handshakes.” Talk about mixed messages.
Then, this week, things got interesting when the Olympics organizers shared their reasoning for passing out those free condoms: to “help with awareness.” Apparently, they don’t want the athletes to actually practice safe sex while in Tokyo, but to take them home as a souvenir.
“Our intent and goal is not for athletes to use the condoms at the Olympic Village but to help with awareness by taking them back to their own countries,” the IOC said in a statement.
On this, I feel like the Tokyo organizers understand that they’re doing everything with a wink and nudge. Of course they “hope” that players will not use the condoms and everyone will keep it masked and in their pants throughout the games. But all of the vaxxed people are still going to bang like crazy for T-Ts Out Summmer. I mean, that’s what happens when you bring together thousands of hot, young elite athletes from around the world and stick them in a confined Olympic Village: they’re going to bang. Possibly with their masks on.
Photos courtesy of Getty.
