As everyone on earth knows by now, the Greatest Celebrity Beef Since Tupac And Biggie™ went down in Ibiza over the weekend, with Orlando Bloom taking a swing at Joffreyesque pop goblinJustin Bieber in a scuffle thought to be about the British actor’s ex-wife, Miranda Kerr — before Justin took to Instagram to post a picture of the model swiftly followed by a picture of Bloom crying. Round one has to go to Bieber, there.
Anyway, a little history: Kerr was first linked to Bieber last year, a few weeks after the absurdly good-looking Bloom/Kerr coalition announced their divorce — with rumours swirling that she and Biebs had hooked up after a Victoria’s Secret party in 2012.
Her lawyer flatly denied the claims in a media-wide letter soon after, but Orlando Bloom clearly didn’t get the memo, after being pictured with a glint of vengeance in his eye with Selena Gomezearlier this year and then the aforementioned swing-and-a-miss at Bieber this weekend.
And how is Miranda Kerr dealing with the increased spotlight while all those fisticuffs go down? By, uh, posing topless in a bath on Instagram. With some jeans on. Which can’t be comfortable Miranda, don’t lie.
“My new @7fam campaign shot by @sebastian_faena !” the model blandly captioned the photo. “#7obsessions!” she added. No, ‘hey guys, FYI Bloom and Biebs weren’t fighting about me’ or ‘so, sup, here’s a picture of me in a bath! Anyway I didn’t hook up with Justin Bieber when he was literally a child. Cya though!’. Brilliant: we are more in the dark now than ever. Respect to Miranda Kerr for hugely ignoring the whole sorry issue, though.
