gwyneth paltrow news

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Gwyneth Paltrow likes being slapped in the face

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Okay, so that headline was slightly misleading. What Gwyneth Paltrow actually enjoys are “aggressive facials” (i.e. cosmetic procedures without actual scalpels) that feel like you’re having rubber bands snapped against your face repeatedly. Mmm, sounds relaxing! From Hello! (via E!): The actress told Hello! magazine that she loves the effective but not-so-pleasant Thermage laser treatment. “It’s non-invasive but it’s quite painful, like having your face smacked with a rubber band that has an electric shock in it. But it works.” The Thermage treatment is also commonly known as the “face-ironing treatment.” Yikes. Sound painful enough for you? But there’s a reason why stars like Gwyneth keep coming back for more. The treatment boosts collagen levels in the skin’s lower layers, creating a tightening effect to the top layer. But even if you’re up for the pain, Thermage laser treatments will cost you. A half-face treatment costs around $3,900, while a full-face treatment comes with the hefty price tag of $5,240. Girl, just go get the full facelift like you’ll end up doing anyway – you could probably get one for the price of two of those “facials” you’re after. I’m cool with whatever, but I wish Goop would get off her lifestyle high horse and stop acting like she’s above all the other women getting older in Hollywood because she’s so holistic. Bullshit. Those “facials” are cosmetic procedures tantamount to plastic surgery, just done with lasers (which is kinda the wave of the future, anyway). Same effect, same purpose – and totally rich from someone who proclaimed that Botox is “vain”. Sorry to break it to you, Gwyneth, but you and Kris Jenner are more alike than you think. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Chris Martin wishes he could give you a Gwyneth Paltrow scandal, but he can’t

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Gwyenth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced their “conscious uncoupling” earlier this year, but there have been a million and one rumours about the possibility of them getting back together. They’re constantly hanging out together – more than any separated people usually do, even with kids in the picture – but don’t get ahead of yourself, because they’re not reuniting, they just really care about each other. BORING. From 104.3′s Valentine in the Morning (via US Weekly): “The truth is — well, I don’t really love talking about this stuff. But the thing we told everyone at the beginning of the year is true,” the 37-year-old said. “We are very close, we are not together. But, we’re…you know…that’s the truth… and uh, that’s it.” “You know, there’s a lot of love,” he continued. “So there’s nothing — there’s no scandal I’m afraid. I wish i could give you scandal.” Chris has always come off as a really decent guy, so I’m not surprised that he’s handled this entire thing in such a quiet and dignified way. It’s also really great for their kids that this whole thing has gone so smoothly. The last thing kids need is messy ass parents – especially famous ones – ruining their lives with unnecessary drama. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Gwyneth Paltrow won’t stop bragging about her divorce

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Look, I know the source is somewhat wonky on this one, but is it really so hard to believe that Gwyneth Paltrow is being insufferable about her perfectly orchestrated divorce announcement? She and Chris Martin announced their “conscious uncoupling” last month, and apparently Goopy hasn’t shut up about it since because she thinks she did so brilliantly with it. From Radar Online: “’Conscious uncoupling’ has become a joke among Gwyneth’s friend,” a source close to the 41-year-old Country Strong star told Radar. “All she’s doing is bragging about how peaceful her divorce is and how she and Chris planned it so perfectly that it is hardly disrupting their lives.” “Gwyneth has always thought she had the most perfect life and even though she’s getting a divorce and both of them are getting bad press she doesn’t care,” the source told Radar. “She has become insufferable saying how happy she is with the way everything is evolving,” the source told Radar. “It’s so ridiculous to listen to her talk as if nothing bad is going on at all for her.  But Gwyneth has always had a protected privileged life and this is no different.” LOL, yeah, this actually sounds 100% legit. Now, I wonder how she’ll gracefully get out of that GOOP financial trouble… Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP are in big financial trouble

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Last week, Gwyneth Paltrow‘s friend and GOOP CEO Seb Bishop up and quit out of nowhere. It all seemed kind of suspicious, and while people were trying to say it was because he didn’t like that she announced her divorce from a company perspective, it seems like things might be a tad more serious, since GOOP seems to be in over $1 million worth of debt. From Radar Online: For two years running, they racked up serious losses totaling more than $300,000 — thanks in part to an interest-free loan Paltrow took from the company coffers! According to the most recent corporate documentation filed with the Companies House in the U.K., in 2011, GOOP “incurred a loss of $255,312 (£152,060) and had a net liabilities of $259,969 (£154,834).” And in 2012, they reported “a loss of $39,823 (£23,718) and … net liabilities of $298,512 (£177,788).” It’s not that GOOP wasn’t making money. In fact, in 2012, they raked in more than $1.5 million (£908,378), thanks in part to $463,486 (£276,040) in product sales, as well as an impressive (£222,243) from Groupon promotions and $373,159 (£535,002) in commissions. All told, the company made $1,893,065 (£1,127,456). But that same year, GOOP spent $98,150 (£58,456) on Goop.com, $79,961 (£47,623) on the notorious GOOP newsletter, $189,590 (£112,918) on product costs, and a whopping $1,564,995 (£932,096) in administrative expenses,” adding up to the grand profit total of a loss of $39,823 (£23,718). Chief among those “administrative expenses” were Paltrow and CEO Sebastian Bishop’s “renumeration,” or salaries, for which the company allotted $587,653.25 (£350,000), a sizable increase from the previous year’s figure of $172,585 (£102,788), despite the company’s losses. The documents also show that in 2012, both Paltrow and Bishop were the recipient of interest-free “loans to directors,” with Paltrow’s listed at a balance of $49,025 (£29,200), of which none was paid back, and Bishop’s at $83,617 (£49,800). Other expenses in 2012 included $456,007 (£271,584) in other wages, $34,507 (£20,551) on travel, nearly $4,000 (£2,118) on “Entertaining,” and nearly $5,000 (£2,951) on “Staff Entertainment.” Sooooo… basically they were sorta cooking their own books, or at the very least ignoring the dire financial situation to make sure they got paid even if the company was sinking. There are a lot more numbers that are worth taking a look at (if you care about this sort of thing), but it looks like GOOP may soon be taking a bow unless she can sell a whole lot of $500 sweaters soon.

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What kind of parties does Gwyneth Paltrow throw?

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Gwyneth Paltrow recently celebrated her son Moses’ 8th birthday, and despite haven’t recently “consciously uncoupled” from husband Chris Martin, she was certainly in the festive spirit and wasn’t going to let that affect Moses’ special day. And yeah, I think it probably goes without saying that it’s pretty sweet to be the kid of a rich parents. From US Weekly: “Everything took place in the backyard,” the insider tells Us, adding that the set-up of the driveway included blue ombre-faded balloons spelling out the letters “M-O-S-E-S” beside the number “8.” The guest list included 20 of Moses’ friends and a few of 9-year-old Apple’s pals, too. “Colorful tables were set up everywhere,” the eyewitness recalls, “and hula hoops and balls for the kids to play with.” Along with the toys, the backyard featured a giant inflatable bounce house in the style of a pirate ship. But that’s not all! A magician was also on-site to entertain the kids. For lunch, the kids and adults enjoyed delightful treats catered by food trucks, including gourmet hotdog vendor Dogtown Dogs and L.A.’s beloved “chow truck” India Jones. Specialties included hot dogs topped with Fritos and Indian street food like samosas, curry and Indian tacos, the source says. The party ended at around 4 p.m. in the afternoon. Some of the guests were spotted leaving in airbrushed T-shirts, designed at the party, which included each kid’s name and a design of his or her choice. Okay, first of all, what 8-year-old has 20 friends? Honestly? That seems insane to me and I’m going to go ahead and assume most of those kids were just the kids of fellow celebrities. On a side note, the blow up house seems awesome and I bet the food was superb. I mean, damn, can’t I get an invite? Follow us on Twitter | Facebook