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Is Lindsay Lohan Going To Jail? Like, For Real This Time?

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Remember when Lindsay Lohan tried to bullshit a judge by claiming that she did all of her court-ordered community service at the very last second by doing things like greeting fans after her shitty play in London’s West End? Most people with half a brain were all like, “Huh?” Thankfully, the judge ordered her to redo 125 of those hours, and as of today, she’s only done 10 of those hours. That means she’s got 115 hours of community service left to do… by the deadline of May 28. LOL! From The AP: Judge Mark Young said Thursday he was concerned the actress had completed fewer than 10 hours of service over three years. Lohan is on probation for a 2012 reckless driving case filed after she crashed her sports car in Santa Monica on her way to a film shoot. Lohan’s lawyer Shawn Holley says the “Mean Girls” star will move from London to complete about 115 remaining hours of service working with kids in New York. Santa Monica city prosecutor Melanie Skehar was skeptical Lohan could pull off the feat by May 28. Skehar says her office will be seeking jail time if Lohan fails. Lohan was not required to attend Thursday’s hearing. There are literally a little more than 2 weeks left before the deadline, which means that Lindsay would literally have to do more than 40 hours a week if she wants a shot in hell in getting it done. Will she? Of course not. Will she actually go to jail? Doubtful. But listen to this! Apparently even the 10 hours Lindsay did were bullshit, according to TMZ: As we reported, Lindsay has completed less than 10 of her 125 community service hours, and now we found out even the 10 hours are suspect. We looked over some court docs, Lindsay got credit for organizing and posting pics on the Facebook page of the London-based community service org. Here’s the problem … a staff member gave Lindsay a memory stick, which allowed her to do the work in the comfort of her apartment. It’s unclear whether Lindsay really posted the pics or whether it was just left to her assistant, but when the head honcho of the community service place found out Lindsay worked from home, she wrote an apology for the screw up to the judge. How is this a real thing? What the hell kinda bullshit staff member gives someone doing COMMUNITY SERVICE the availability to do work UNSUPERVISED at home, meaning she can easily pass the task off and not do it at all, which is clearly what happened? Make this girl clean toilets or some shit, for God’s sake. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Lindsay Lohan has a crazy stalker of her own

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Crazy tends to beget more crazy, and that’s definitely what’s going on with Lindsay Lohan and her insane stalker, who has apparently been sending her thousands of messages online and attempting to get to her while she’s rehearsing for Speed-the-Plow (do people still rehearse one the show has already started? Seems bizarre, but okay!). From The Daily Mail: An alleged stalker is accused of bombarding Lindsay Lohan with more than 1,000 messages and punching a bouncer who barred him from seeing her rehearse for her West End comeback. Daniel Vorderwulbecke will face trial over the altercation at London’s Playhouse Theatre, where the Hollywood star made her stage debut last month in David Mamet’s satire Speed-The-Plow. It is claimed the 37-year-old, who goes by names including King Lionheart and DJ Dan Cortez, sent Miss Lohan thousands of text messages. He also claims to speak to the actress personally and through social media every day, a court heard. Today he was bailed to the specialist Gordon Hospital for mental health patients in Pimlico, central London, where specialists will prepare a psychiatric report ahead of his trial. His lawyer, Patrick McGovern, said he was probably ‘unfit to plead’ due to his mental health. It is not known what condition Vorderwulbecke is reported to have. It is claimed Vorderwulbecke stalked Miss Lohan for seven weeks between July and September this year by bombarding her with threats in person and through ‘various communication devices’ including Instagram. More on this weirdo (including pictures) at the source, but can we just discuss for a second what in the actual fuck is going on in the world? Left and right, celebrities are having to get restraining orders or call the cops on insane fans who are stalking them or breaking into their houses and whatnot. I know this isn’t a new phenomenon, but it is an increasingly regular one, and that’s a bit concerning. Are there more and more crazy people in the world? Jesus. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Lindsay Lohan had a miscarriage while taping her reality show

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I don’t know if any of you have been watching Lindsay Lohan‘s reality show on OWN, but it’s been so good… simply because it’s been so bad. Lindsay is insufferable, unreliable, completely out of touch with reality and an absolute trainwreck, which makes for an awful life but fantastic TV. Throughout the series, Lindsay has been notoriously flaky with actually showing up for shooting. Either she was up too late the night before, can’t get up in the morning, is having some mental crisis where she can’t be bothered or just feels like flying to LA and getting wasted for two weeks without the cameras around, it’s been a tooth and nail fight to get the footage the producers wanted and needed to actually make a show possible. One shooting hiatus lasted an entire two weeks… which Lindsay revealed during last night’s 2 hour finale was because she was actually having a miscarriage. Here’s People‘s scoop: “No one knows this, and we can finish after this, I had a miscarriage for the two weeks that I took off,” the troubled actress said, fighting tears. After a long pause, she said, “It’s a very long story,” and offered no other details. Lohan, 27, had the miscarriage, she explained, during the much-discussed two weeks she reportedly held up production of the series. “I was sick. And mentally that messes with you,” she said. I mean, look – having a miscarriage is fucked up, so I want to acknowledge that before I say my next sentence, okay? That miscarriage, in her case, was a blessing. She is a drug and alcohol addict who can’t even get herself out of bed in the morning and look after HERSELF, let alone a child. And considering her family is just as fucked up as she is, it would have been a death sentence for that kid from the time it came into the world anyway. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook