This ^^ is the new cover of The Standard’s ES Magazine. That’s Kim Kardashian. It’s a terrible cover, I know, and that oversaturated red makes my eyes hurt. I have good quotes from the magazine, but first: where in the world are Kim and Kanye? As it turns out, Kanye planned a “surprise getaway” for Kim’s 34th birthday. He took her to Maui! That’s actually really sweet. I wonder if North was invited though? Hm. Here’s how Kanye celebrated Kim’s b-day (it was on Tuesday) on Twitter:
Happy Birthday baby! Thank you for being the dopest wife & mom! pic.twitter.com/D3k20HN3Yb
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) October 22, 2014
Sometimes I feel like just saying I love you isn’t strong enough to express how much I love you…
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) October 22, 2014
Call me a Yeezington apologist, but I think he genuinely loves her. I know, I know. I’m a big softie. I’m not saying he wouldn’t yell at her if she was in a wheelchair, I’m just saying… he seems to adore her. Anyway, as for those ES Magazine quotes… Kim talked about how North wasn’t going to be super-spoiled and she would grow up working for what she wants:
Kim Kardashian says her daughter North will have to find a job and pay her own way when she is older — just like she did. The reality TV star, who is married to rapper Kanye West, says despite her family’s wealth she worked at a clothes shop when she was at school. Kardashian, 34, said she used to save up her wages for treats and would like her daughter to “work for what she wants” too.
In an interview with ES Magazine, to be published in full tomorrow, she said: “I saved up for this Dolce & Gabbana dress I really wanted, or like in high school these Prada shoes that my parents wouldn’t buy me. And I remember they were $400, and I had to save for the entire year to get them … We didn’t get anything [from her parents], we had to get a job if we wanted it. So I was working in a clothing store and I would save and save.”
She added: “I was saying that earlier to my friends, ‘I wonder what [North’s] first job is gonna be’. And they were like, ‘What? She’s gonna have a job?’ and I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Of course she is’. She will have to work for what she wants.”
North, who is 16 months old, has already started modelling for Vogue and CR Fashion Book. Last month she was on the front row of Paris Fashion Week with her parents. Asked what she thought North might do when she is older, Kardashian replied: “I don’t know. She loves fashion. Maybe she’ll be a designer. Who knows? It’s too early to tell.”
Kardashian said North also likes her father’s music, which she said she uses to rock her to sleep. She added: “The best is when Kanye’s recording in the home and we’re in Mexico or whatever. And the music will be upstairs and she’ll hear it, and it’s really loud and you’d think it would disturb her, but I just kind of rock her to it, and she’ll just pass out.”
My Kardashian-to-English Translator interprets Kim’s remarks as “Lucifer’s Homegirl is going to pimp out the little one as soon as possible.” While I think Kim’s version of “work” is very different than mine, yours and everyone else’s, in a larger sense… yeah, I guess we could describe her as a self-made woman. I do think that much of Kardashian Empire was built by Lucifer’s Homegirl though, not Kim. Kim wouldn’t be where she is now without the pimp hand guiding her every move. Will Nori be the same?
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Special thanks Cele Bitch









