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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez break up… again

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I think this is about the 57th time I’ve had to write that headline. That’s right: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have broken up. Again. No idea what happened – one second he was cooking her meals and things were honky dory. Then they went on vacation together (as seen above) to St. Martin and things went seriously downhill. No one really knows what happened, but by the time they got to the airport to leave, they were both clearly in a bad mood and they took separate flights out. Justin headed to Paris, where he was photographed having a champagne dinner with Kendall Jenner, and Selena went home and emo tweeted the following: Sometimes we think we aren't good enough. But then I realize when I think I'm alone I have God. — Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) October 2, 2014 Random, long flight. So happy to be home. — Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) October 1, 2014 WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END? Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber cooks dinner for Selena Gomez

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Justin Bieber may be beginning to look like a bit of a meth addict, but Selena Gomez just can’t hop off his dick for longer than five minutes, so they’re officially back together and happier (?) than ever. To show what a great boyfriend he is, Justin decided to cook Selena some lunch and post a video of his skills on Instagram, as you do. Here’s what I want to know: Why is Justin Bieber allowed to handle a knife? I feel like he needs those blunt scissors you give kindergartners that don’t actually cut anything besides construction paper. Countdown to these two breaking up again. What do you give it, a week? Two? I sure do wish Selena would start loving herself – or at the very least respecting herself. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Selena Gomez has dumped the “toxic” Jenners as friends

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Selena Gomez seemed to be getting pretty pally with Kylie and Kendall Jenner and was seen hanging out with them quite a lot. They even went to Coachella together, which we all know is the one true sign of friendship. Unfortunately, their sisterhood was not to laugh, as Selena erased all her photos with them on Instagram this past week, unfollowed them (and Taylor Swift, so who knows what’s happening there) and is apparently pretty pissed off since Kylie apparently slept with Justin Bieber? From TMZ: Sources close to Selena tell us, the singer had an epiphany after Coachella last week — where she was surrounded by booze and drugs while hanging with the Jenner girls, Justin Bieber … and all the hangers-on that come with them. We’re told Selena’s sick of that scene — so she’s decided to cut out what she considers the biggest sources of negativity … Jenner girls included. Selena made the cut official, and public … by unfollowing Kendall and Kylie on Instagram. She also deleted all her Coachella selfies with the sisters. The Insta-purge continued … with Bieber and a bunch of others getting dropped — and, in fact, she’s currently following ZERO people. We’re told Selena is determined to stay on the straight and narrow — focusing on music and, get this … going to church almost daily. Huh, okay. Oh, and about that Kylie/JB affair – here’s what The Sun had to say about it: “Selena is convinced something has gone on between Justin and Kylie,” an insider tells the British publication, adding that Gomez went “berserk.” Upon learning of this hook-up, she “called [things] off” with Bieber. Oh God, until the next one, right? These kids, I swear to God. They’re all an absolute mess. Selena would do well to keep herself in that church! Follow us on Twitter | Facebook