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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez break up… again

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I think this is about the 57th time I’ve had to write that headline. That’s right: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have broken up. Again. No idea what happened – one second he was cooking her meals and things were honky dory. Then they went on vacation together (as seen above) to St. Martin and things went seriously downhill. No one really knows what happened, but by the time they got to the airport to leave, they were both clearly in a bad mood and they took separate flights out. Justin headed to Paris, where he was photographed having a champagne dinner with Kendall Jenner, and Selena went home and emo tweeted the following: Sometimes we think we aren't good enough. But then I realize when I think I'm alone I have God. — Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) October 2, 2014 Random, long flight. So happy to be home. — Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) October 1, 2014 WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END? Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Selena Gomez hired Katy Perry’s manager

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Selena Gomez is going through some shit right now, it seems. She doesn’t really know her ass from her elbow, so she’s being all erratic and deleting friends from her life, firing her parents as her managers, hanging out with Justin Bieber, etc. Homegirl is all over the place. While Selena’s parents were pretty shocked to get the boot out of nowhere (and had to read about it in the press rather than being told directly, apparently), the show must go on and she needed new representation, so she hired Katy Perry‘s manager, some dude called Bradford Cobb. From US Weekly: Cobb, who was listed as one of Billboard’s 40 executives under 40 in July 2013, has spent more than a decade in the industry making a name for himself, and was instrumental in making Katy Perry a pop superstar. Gomez, who parted ways with her label Hollywood Records, seems ready to reinvent her career. Her 2013 album Stars Dance was her first number one on the Billboard 200, with hits “Come & Get It” and “Slow Down.” Bless her heart – I guess she’s trying. Before all that, though, I think she’d do way better with some proper rehab/counseling. It’s not your management that’s the issue, girl, it’s your life choices. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Selena Gomez fired her parents as managers

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Selena Gomez thinks she’s a big girl now, which means she no longer wants her parents, Mandy and Brian Teefey, as managers. Before you jump to conclusions, they weren’t stealing her money or doing anything shady, and in fact they’re the ones who’ve been managing her since she got her first break at Disney. So why the pink slip? From TMZ: We’re told Selena feels she’s outgrown her parents. She believes she’s now old enough — and famous enough — to have a seasoned professional manager with other A-list clients. Selena has argued plenty with her parents over the direction of her career — not to mention over dating Justin Bieber — but we’re told family friction was NOT the reason for the split. We’re told Selena remains close with both of her parents, although they’re not happy about the decision. As for who Selena wants to rep her, we’re told she’s still looking for the perfect candidate. So basically, this is her way at getting back at her parents for telling her she should stay away from dirtbag Bieber, right? We don’t need no stinkin’ parents! We’re grown! You can’t tell me what to do! (I’m rolling my eyes.) That being said, I do think it’s possible for you to “outgrow” a professional relationship, but unless there’s something that they’re not doing for her that she thinks some other manager can, it’s really some petty bullshit. Let me guess – next she’ll be managed by Scooter Braun? Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Video: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are passionate dance partners, now

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If anything will make you gag harder than knowing that Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are back together, it’s probably knowing that they’ve also been choreographing “passionate” dance routines to John Legend songs together and renting rehearsal space to perfect their moves. I don’t even have words for this fuckery, but I think it’s hilarious that Selena clearly sees them as star-crossed lovers who are destined to be together against all odds. I mean, we were all young once, so I get it, I suppose. Everyone goes through their share of idiotic bullshit – especially when it comes to relationships. But damn, I’ve never seen someone SO resistant to the truth that’s right in front of their eyes as Selena Gomez, man. That is some extreme low self-esteem. Also hilarious: Justin really, seriously thinks he’s an honest-to-God thug. I can’t even look at this idiot anymore. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook