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Boo Hoo, Lady GaGa Has Been “Gravely Mismanaged”

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A week can’t go by without Lady GaGa finding something to come to the press about being hard done by – whether it be the press itself, the music industry, fame, life… you get the drift. This time around, the Lady is upset about the delay of her music video for ‘Do What U Want’, something that’s all her management’s fault. You see, her management is apparently shit and are always delaying her projects and interrupting her artistic vision, so what better way to solve such an issue than to take to her website and post a rant?

It is late because, just like with the Applause video unfortunately, I was given a week to plan and execute it. It is very devastating for someone like me, I devote every moment of my life to creating fantasies for you. All my my most successful videos were planned over a period of time when I was rested and my creativity was honored. Those who have betrayed me gravely mismanaged my time and health and left me on my own to damage control any problems that ensued as a result. Millions of dollars are not enough for some people. They want billions. Then they need trillions. I was not enough for some people. They wanted more. I am very grateful to the photographers and designers who have always stood by me to make sure my fans are never aware of the things that happen behind the scenes, but unfortunately after my surgery I was too sick, too tired, and too sad to control the damage on my own. My label was not aware that this was going on. The next few months of ARTPOP will truly be its beginning. Because those who did not care about ARTPOP’s success are now gone, and the dreams I have been planning can now come to fruition. Please forgive me that I did not foresee this coming, I never thought after all the years of hard work that those I called friends and partners would ever care so little at a time I needed them the most. Give me a chance to show you the meaning of seeing art all around you. Open your hearts to me again that I may show you the joy of us coming together through our talents, that we are stronger as a unit than when we are alone. Let me be for you the Goddess that I know I truly am, let me show you the visions that have been in my mind for two years. I love you. Forgive me monsters. Forgive me ARTPOP. You are my whole world.

“Forgive me ARTPOP”? Is she touched in the head or something? Last time I checked, an inanimate object/artistic concept doesn’t care about your apologies. Also, I love that she talks about how she got rid of the people who didn’t care about ARTPOP’s success. Well, that’s a bit of a doozy since there wasn’t much “success” with this album to care about… In all seriousness, of course it’s important to work with people who care about what you’re doing, but with how far her head is up her own ass, I can imagine it’d get rather wearing quite quickly.

I used to really enjoy Lady GaGa at face value, though I always thought she was full of bullshit and slightly unhinged, but the music was good, at least. Now she’s so hit or miss – with most swings being serious misses – that I don’t really know what to say about her anymore. She’s just awful.

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Lady GaGa Rushes ‘Applause’ Release; I’m Not Clapping

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I know I’ve said it before, but I’m just so exhausted by Lady GaGa. She makes me feel 100 years old, that’s how tired I am of her, her “artistic vision” (read: gimmicks), her shitty attempt at avant garde pop, her annoying Twitter rants, everything. I just want it to stop, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to get that chance anytime soon.

You’ll remember that 12 seconds of her shit new single ‘Applause’ “leaked” the other day (I’d hardly call that a leak) and she got all up in arms about it before lashing out at “bloggers” who panned the track. Well, now she’s been forced to release it in full a bit early after declaring a “pop music emergency”. I’m rolling my eyes, too.

So, here’s ‘Applause’ in all its non-glory. I hate the sing-talking, I hate the lyrics, I hate how up her own ass she is, I hate everything about it. Of course it’ll get massive and because it’s hers and because it’s the first thing she’s released in a couple of years, people will eat this shit up and it’ll do really well. I just would have expected her to come up with something a bit more clever during her time off than a song about how great she is and how she lives for people to worship her. No thanks.

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Lady GaGa Thinks She’s Queen of the Universe, Isn’t Feeling Your Blue Collar Woes

Lady GaGa is one crazy bitch. We all know it, even the lady herself, who seems to derive not a small amount of catharsis from being balls-to-the-wall insane at every available opportunity. Sure, she’s got her good sides – she’s a great ally for LGBT equality, supports mental health counseling and the Fame Monster EP was absolutely killer – but let’s be frank: homegirl ain’t right.

Stefani Germanotta (that’s right, I went there) was on some next level f*ckery in court earlier this week in New York City, where she was forced to appear to answer a lawsuit filed by her former personal assistant, Jennifer O’Neill. According to O’Neill, GaGa owes her $393,000 plus damages for several thousand hours of overtime she worked around the clock during her tenure with Mama Monster between 2009 and 2011. GaGa’s not having it, though, as she doesn’t pay overtime and doesn’t think being a PA is really much of a job – at least not compared to being a superstar!

From The New York Post:

“She’s just — she thinks she’s just like the queen of the universe,” Gaga ranted, court records obtained by The Post show. “And, you know what, she didn’t want to be a slave to one, because in my work and what I do, I’m the queen of the universe every day.”

“I’m quite wonderful to everybody that works for me, and I am completely aghast to what a disgusting human being that you have become to sue me like this.”

She went on to claim that the PA position, which paid $75,000 a year, “was essentially a favor, and Jennifer was majorly unqualified for it” because – and yes, she’s serious about this – “I expect there to be a certain level of, like, you know, knowledge and academia about, like, your job.”

Stefani also has strong ideas on what exactly an assistant is, and that’s “somebody that can anticipate what you need before you need it, so they buy it for you, or they – they set it up for you”. Or, you know, you can buy it your f-cking self.

But Gaga said O’Neill failed at even the most basic of tasks, noting that “one of the biggest problems I had with Jen is that I felt like she didn’t enough lay out all my stuff for me” while traveling, because “there is 20 bags and there is only one me, and I can’t sift through everything.

“She would only open a couple of bags, and it was very stressful for me because then again on my off days I couldn’t really have a day off because, you know, I weigh 115 pounds, and I was trying to move these huge, big luggages all by myself in the room, and I did it all the time — by the way, she was asleep until 12:00 most of the time, so I was very often waking up and moving my own luggage and doing shitt by myself, and it was — it was a problem that I had,” she said.

Poor thing. She also claimed that being a personal assistant isn’t all that tiring because it’s not like you have to dig ditches or anything, and then made a final snipe at O’Neill, saying:

“I’m going to give all the money that she wants to my employees that work hard for me now that deserve it. I’m not going to give it to her so she can go to Intermix and buy herself a new tube top.”

Ouch. The whole thing warrants a read, but only if you care to hate Lady GaGa more than you probably already do.

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