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People Still Want to See Lady GaGa, Apparently

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Lady GaGa is getting ready to go out in support of her ARTPOP album and is bringing her ‘artRave: The ARTPOP Ball Tour’ to the UK this fall. Tickets went on sale the other day, and while you’d think the basic flop of the album itself would mean no one would be in too much of a hurry to get tickets, that’s not the case at all – the entire UK tour sold out in under five minutes!

 

I can’t imagine what this tour is going to be like, but if the iTunes Festival performance last September is anything to go by, the audience is in for a hot ass mess.

Would you pay to go see GaGa or have you seen any of her other tours?

Thanks to Evil Beet

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Lady GaGa Was So Depressed in 2013, She Wanted to Die

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Lady GaGa is a bit of an enigma – or at least that’s what she’d hope you think of her – and seems to be all over the place most of the time. She’s battled lots of demons in her life, including eating disorders and severe depression, so it should be no surprise that they occasionally make reappearances and tend to take over her psyche. One of those times was apparently the end of this past year, when she got so depressed that she didn’t think she’d live.

From Harper’s Bazaar:

I became very depressed at the end of 2013. I was exhausted fighting people off. I couldn’t even feel my own heartbeat. I was angry, cynical, and had this deep sadness like an anchor dragging everywhere I go. I just didn’t feel like fighting anymore. I didn’t feel like standing up for myself one more time—to one more person who lied to me.

But January 1, I woke up, started crying again, and I looked in the mirror and said, “I know you don’t want to fight. I know you think you can’t, but you’ve done this before. I know it hurts, but you won’t survive this depression.” I really felt like I was dying—my light completely out. I said to myself, “Whatever is left in there, even just one light molecule, you will find it and make it multiply. You have to for you. You have to for your music. You have to for your fans and your family.” Depression doesn’t take away your talents—it just makes them harder to find. But I always find it. I learned that my sadness never destroyed what was great about me. You just have to go back to that greatness, find that one little light that’s left. I’m lucky I found one little glimmer stored away.

It’s very difficult for me to take Lady GaGa seriously with this shit because she’s literally had the most privileged life ever. She grew up in an upper class family in NYC and was famous by the time she was in hear early 20s (with production and songwriting deals prior to that, if I remember correctly). I’m not saying she hasn’t worked hard for what she has, but I am saying that part of me feels like she relies on this tortured soul routine for her “art”. On the other hand, it’s colossally unfair to assume that because someone has had money, that they can’t suffer from depression – which is largely chemical in addition to circumstantial, so I dunno. Clearly she felt depressed and now she’s better, so uh… that’s good, right?

GaGa also spoke about how she wants to stand up for herself more against those who are out to fuck her over, saying:

Sometimes I get this gut feeling about people—maybe I sense a hidden agenda or that they care for the money more than the message. I wish that I’d listen to that feeling instead of waiting for the truth to rear its ugly head. I’m a smart girl. I’m loyal. But sometimes I’m too loyal. I’m not loyal enough to myself.

Well, there ya go. You should never feel bad about cutting anyone out of your life who isn’t worth being there, girl. I’m with you on that. I just sorta wish you’d stop doing naked photoshoots with your legs wide open and some stupid object covering your modesty. It’s getting a little old.

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Lady GaGa’s World Is Ruled by David Bowie, Even Though They’ve Never Met

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Lady GaGa turned up on Alan Carr’s Chatty Man (airing tonight on Channel 4 in the UK) to talk about a variety of bullshit, including how obsessed she is with David Bowie even though she’s yet to meet the man.

“I have not met him yet, it’s okay – you know I’m such a big fan, that it’s kind of this weird amazing thing that I haven’t met him yet.

“He’s sort of like an alien prince. He still runs my universe as well, like, every morning I wake up and I think, ‘What would Bowie do?’

“But I guess for him it was a sense of perfection. These things he created, it was self expression for him but also a sense of protection for who he personally is as David. And for me, this is a sense of protection, I’m not really protecting myself actually because myself is who you see every day, and my inability to rest in one soul is just who I am.

“I’ve just always kind of thought life’s too short to wear one hat, and I don’t know if it makes me crazy or not, but it’s just the way the f**king cookie crumbles in my house.”

I don’t really get what any of that means or how in the world she thinks she’s in the same league as Bowie (who I think would find her absolutely laughable) but whatever. Bowie is an “alien prince” who created perfection to protect himself but she doesn’t protect herself in the same way because she’s who she is or something? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. I don’t know why I even bother to try.

PS What in mermaid hell is that wig? Homegirl is a millionaire with a wig she found in the discount bin at Walgreens.

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Lady Gaga Makes An (Almost) Normal Bridesmaid

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Lady Gaga is in the news lately for what she’s been wearing, but unlike her usual “I am basically wearing a palm tree” or “I am wearing a giant Pikachu costume as designed by Versace” she’s been photographed in normal attire, like a regular bikini and now, a non-flashy, normal, pink bridesmaid gown. Well, almost non-flashy. The J.Lo deep v-cut is a little attention grabbing. But I’ve seen wedding photos of bridesmaids in more revealing attire.

Ms. Gaga’s longtime friend got married in Mexico over the weekend. Hope her friend didn’t mind the paparazzi helicopter photos, but she had to know what she was getting into.

Gaga looked pretty and lovely in something sweet and girly, and were it not for the giant bright blonde Amy Winehouse-esque beehive, she would have achieved full normal. I think it’s far more interesting to see Gaga in subdued outfits and makeup now that we’ve seen her for years in over-the-top fashion.

And it’s interesting to see her amidst normal people, and not at the center of attention. For once, Lady Gaga was at an event and she wasn’t the star. I bet Gaga was so happy to give that to her friend (not being sarcastic). I wonder if her friend was worried that her wedding would be all about Gaga, but I think they’ve got a good, trustworthy group going on, and everyone gave the bride the proper attention and support. Damn, I’m getting all emotional now. F-cking weddings.

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Lol What? Someone Told Gaga She Looked Like A Dead Amy Winehouse

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Lady Gaga is still lying low after recuperating from surgery. She’s basically just hanging around, being Elton Johns’ kids godmother, you know, normal people stuff.

And then apparently she went to the Chateau Marmont to eat and her friend told her she looked like Amy Winehouse came back from the dead. You know, normal people stuff. From The National Enquirer:

It ain’t easy to shake up tough-as-nails LADY GAGA, but she flat-out freaked while dining at see-and-be-seen Chateau Marmont – rocking a long black wig, heavy makeup and mounds of dark mascara – when a pal passing by her table did a wide-eyed double-take and told her: “Wow, you really startled me – I thought AMY WINEHOUSE had come back from the dead!”

Stunned, Gaga ga-ga-gasped, literally dropped her fork on her plate – and dashed off to her room.

Half an hour later, La Gaga re-emerged sporting a red wig and subdued warpaint, and not looking at all like the tragic, drug-plagued British star she’d idolized before her tragic death at age 27.

What the hell is this, a Noel Coward play?

If you’d like to further mourn our dearly departed Miss Winehouse, you’ll soon be able to pay tribute at her memorial statue.

Please enjoy these photos of Lady Gaga leaving/arriving at the Chateau Marmont over the years.

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Lady GaGa Thinks She’s Queen of the Universe, Isn’t Feeling Your Blue Collar Woes

Lady GaGa is one crazy bitch. We all know it, even the lady herself, who seems to derive not a small amount of catharsis from being balls-to-the-wall insane at every available opportunity. Sure, she’s got her good sides – she’s a great ally for LGBT equality, supports mental health counseling and the Fame Monster EP was absolutely killer – but let’s be frank: homegirl ain’t right.

Stefani Germanotta (that’s right, I went there) was on some next level f*ckery in court earlier this week in New York City, where she was forced to appear to answer a lawsuit filed by her former personal assistant, Jennifer O’Neill. According to O’Neill, GaGa owes her $393,000 plus damages for several thousand hours of overtime she worked around the clock during her tenure with Mama Monster between 2009 and 2011. GaGa’s not having it, though, as she doesn’t pay overtime and doesn’t think being a PA is really much of a job – at least not compared to being a superstar!

From The New York Post:

“She’s just — she thinks she’s just like the queen of the universe,” Gaga ranted, court records obtained by The Post show. “And, you know what, she didn’t want to be a slave to one, because in my work and what I do, I’m the queen of the universe every day.”

“I’m quite wonderful to everybody that works for me, and I am completely aghast to what a disgusting human being that you have become to sue me like this.”

She went on to claim that the PA position, which paid $75,000 a year, “was essentially a favor, and Jennifer was majorly unqualified for it” because – and yes, she’s serious about this – “I expect there to be a certain level of, like, you know, knowledge and academia about, like, your job.”

Stefani also has strong ideas on what exactly an assistant is, and that’s “somebody that can anticipate what you need before you need it, so they buy it for you, or they – they set it up for you”. Or, you know, you can buy it your f-cking self.

But Gaga said O’Neill failed at even the most basic of tasks, noting that “one of the biggest problems I had with Jen is that I felt like she didn’t enough lay out all my stuff for me” while traveling, because “there is 20 bags and there is only one me, and I can’t sift through everything.

“She would only open a couple of bags, and it was very stressful for me because then again on my off days I couldn’t really have a day off because, you know, I weigh 115 pounds, and I was trying to move these huge, big luggages all by myself in the room, and I did it all the time — by the way, she was asleep until 12:00 most of the time, so I was very often waking up and moving my own luggage and doing shitt by myself, and it was — it was a problem that I had,” she said.

Poor thing. She also claimed that being a personal assistant isn’t all that tiring because it’s not like you have to dig ditches or anything, and then made a final snipe at O’Neill, saying:

“I’m going to give all the money that she wants to my employees that work hard for me now that deserve it. I’m not going to give it to her so she can go to Intermix and buy herself a new tube top.”

Ouch. The whole thing warrants a read, but only if you care to hate Lady GaGa more than you probably already do.

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