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Justin Bieber thinks he’s a rapper now

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I mean, I know Justin Bieber has been thinking he’s a rapper for a while now, but this disaster rose (sunk?) to a whole new level this past weekend when he hit the stage with Chance the Rapper for a rather interesting… performance, I guess you would call it. I hesitate to call anything Justin Bieber tries to pass off as rap a “performance” – more like a farce.

The pair did “Confident”, which is apparently a song they did together and even released a video for, and I guess people… kinda liked it? I just cannot take this asshole seriously. Shame for Chance the Rapper, too – I actually kinda like him but my opinion has already plummeted after seeing this!

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Justin Bieber Isn’t Sorry About Anything, Is All About “Amazingness”

justin bieber not sorry

Justin Bieber has done a new exposé with The Hollywood Reporter, wherein he basically said he’s not sorry about anything he ever does and that he’s not a dickhead at all, he’s just “all about amazingness”. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Here are some choice quotes below:

His thoughts on “black culture”:

“I’m very influenced by black culture, but I don’t think of it as black or white,” he says. “It’s not me trying to act or pose in a certain way. It’s a lifestyle — like a suaveness or a swag, per se. But I don’t really like to say the word [‘swag’] anymore. It’s kind of played out.”

OH YES, JUSTIN. You are such a fucking trendsetter and a definite spokesperson for black culture, being the white bread little shit you are.

On his burgeoning reputation as a Grade A dickhead:

“I don’t give a f—.” Elaborates Bieber: “Not ‘I don’t give a f—’ to just be reckless and do whatever, but ‘I don’t give a f— what they say.’ … I know who I am and what I’m doing in my life and what I’ve accomplished and continue to accomplish as a performer, as a writer, as an artist, as a person, as a human being. I’m happy with the man I’m becoming.”

On us meanie bloggers saying meanie things about him:

“When people see a negative thing about me on a magazine, they’re gonna buy it. Every time some site writes something bad, all my followers go on there, and it brings them more traffic. Now they have all the Beliebers on their site, which gives them money from advertisers. They’re just worried about money. They don’t care about ruining someone’s name.”

On his message to fans:

“What I represent is positivity and brightness and lightness and amazingness. Nothing negative at all.”

Also, here’s a choice spoonful of bullshit that his manager, Scooter Braun (WHY IS A GROWN MAN CALLED SCOOTER?), tried to feed us:

“He’s the only person in humanity who’s grown up the way he has — with smartphones and cameras on him 24/7,” says Braun. “Another kid can go out and have a good night on the town, and no one gives a crap, but Justin is the most Googled person on the planet — for four years straight!”

Oh God, can’t ANYONE make this shit stop?! I’ve never heard such a gigantic crock of shit all in one sitting before. This is horrendous. Justin’s the ONLY HUMAN to grow up how he has despite there being a MILLION OTHER CHILD STARS out there not doing the same fuckery he is? Justin represents “amazingness”? Ugh, I need to go take a bleach shower.

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Want to See Justin Bieber Naked With a Guitar? Too Bad, Here You Go!

justin bieber naked

Just when you thought Justin Bieber couldn’t get any worse, he goes and gets butt naked and serenades his grandmother on her birthday. In the nude. His grandmother. No clothes. I want you all to take a moment to process that.

Of course, it’s TMZ that got the pics and the scoop on this one, though God knows how or why. I don’t even think I want to know… it’s just not right. Apparently the pics were taken over Thanksgiving in 2012 at Memaw‘s house in Toronto. Here’s more, if you dare:

Our sources tell us JB had been staying at his granny’s house during the holiday … and slept in a little too late on Thanksgiving morning.

Bieber finally woke up after hearing family and friends stirring around the house — so he thought he’d prank ‘em … by grabbing his guitar and playing a naked set a la Jenny from “Forrest Gump” (‘memba that?).

We’re told birthday-suited Bieber went right up to his grandma and started belting out some impromptu lyrics … like, “I Loooove you grandmaaaa … how are youuuu … helloooo grandma.”

We’re told G thought it was pretty funny — and everyone in the home was cracking up — but granny begged the pop star to get back in his room to put some damn clothes on, stat.

Christ almighty. I can’t even begin addressing this. I’ll just leave this here for you (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little):

justin bieber naked guitar

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Either Justin Bieber’s Stalking Selena Gomez Or They’re Back Together

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Rumours have been flying around at the speed of light that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are back together after the pair were apparently spotted kissing in Norway and Justin posted a picture of them looking cosy on Instagram, which he quickly deleted. Of course, the little asshole has continued to stir the shit by then posting another picture of them together (seen above) with the following caption:

“You’ve been makin music for too long babe come cuddle- her.”

Now, I won’t even get into the awful sentence structure of the above, but I will point out that he’s missing some of his hideous tattoos so this photo’s definitely not all that recent. Still, if they’re not together, why is he posting it? And if they are, why don’t they take a new f-cking photo together? Who can say?

I know Selena Gomez isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but just how dull-witted do you have to be to reunite with an absolute dickhead like Justin Bieber? Seriously, I want to know the answer to that question.

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Selena Gomez Is Not Looking For Another Justin Bieber

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Selena Gomez may have dated Justin Bieber for a couple of years, but since she finally cut the cord with that asshole, she’s enjoying being single and is definitely not looking for another relationship anytime soon.

From The Sun:

“It makes you more wary sometimes about meeting people because you don’t know whether they want to get close to you because of what you do or because they really like your company and just want to hang out with you.

“I’m a big romantic and I want to be very open and trusting but you need to protect yourself. I’d love to have a great boyfriend but I’m not really looking for one.”

I don’t blame you, girl. If I was dating a monkey-toting, no-shirt wearing, face-spitting piece of shit like that, I’d probably swear off love for a while, myself. When she does get back in the game, I’m sure she’ll have no problem finding someone new. For now, live it up – spring break forever, bitches!!

Below, some photos of Selena being adorable and looking about 12.

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Justin Bieber Swears He’s Not An Asshole, Just Young

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Alright, listen. Enough with these stupid kids being self-aware enough to know they’re being pricks but not enough self-control to, you know, not be pricks. Justin Bieber – he of the endless stream of asshole behavior, most recent of which is apparently spitting in his neighbor’s face and threatening to kill him – is now trying to garner sympathy by talking about how much it hurts is itty bitty feelings when people call him out for being the idiot he is because he’s really a great person deep down! WHY DOESN’T ANYONE UNDERSTAND HIM?!

From US Weekly:

“The biggest misconception about me is that I’m a bad person,” confides Bieber. “I get upset about that. I have a big heart. I want to be a good role model, but some people want me to fail.”

That said, he admits he’s far from perfect. “I’m young and I make mistakes. That’s part of growing up,” he says. “I mess up sometimes. It’s part of growing up.”

For now, the unattached heartthrob is tuning out his detractors. (He wraps up his nearly yearlong world tour in August.) “I know who I am and I’m not gonna let negativity towards me bring me down. I’m a positive person and I plan on staying that way,” Bieber says. “This business can break you down, but I have a strong team around me, and my family and all the fans. The love overcomes the negativity. I’m not perfect but I’m growing and trying to be better everyday. That’s part of life.”

Still, Bieber adds, “I’m young and I want to have fun. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.”

No one is saying there’s any problem with having fun, but we are saying that there’s a problem with being an entitled, self-righteous asshole who treats everyone like shit and acts like he’s infallible and rules the world. I’m sure the whole “misunderstood” angle is being fed to him by his PR team who want to continue sponging money out of him for as long as they can, but come on. He seems to think raising hell is a rite of passage, and  I just want his career to come to a grinding halt. Ugh, teenagers.

Special thanks to Evill Beet Gossip