Lindsay Lohan still guzzling vodka all the time & she’s going to Brazil, of course

Did you know I was actually trying to avoid writing about Lindsay Lohan for a few days? I needed a break because it’s gotten to the point where her crackiness really bothers me. She’s been in LA since her plea deal one week ago, and she’s pretty much been partying non-stop. Go here to see some of the latest photos of Lindsay looking drunk/high/crackie while leaving a “private club” in Santa Monica. So… let’s see if we can get all of this done in one post. Some highlights from several days’ worth of Cracken news:

*Lindsay has scored a “HUGE paycheck” to promote a clothing line in Brazil this week. For whatever reason, Lindsay has another five weeks or so to check herself into rehab, so she’s spending that time partying, clubbing and of course, leaving the country. TMZ claims LL got a “low six-figure payday” to fly to Brazil to promote this clothing line. And that’s not all! She’s going to be filming scenes for Charlie Sheen’s Anger Management this week too.

*As I said, Lindsay is still partying like crazy. “Sources” tell TMZ that Lindsay has been knocking back vodka sodas at her Beverly Hills hotel and when she was in San Diego a few nights ago, she kept ordering vodka on the rocks all night but “Lindsay specifically request that vodka be served from a glass carafe … this way the table would not have any alcohol bottles on it.” Because of course.

*Lindsay keeps telling everyone she knows (at TMZ) that she does not have a substance abuse problem and she does not need professional help. She’s also complaining to everyone she knows that it sucks she’ll be in rehab for her 27th birthday on July 2. Sources tell TMZ that Lindsay had “big birthday plans” involving a huge party in NYC.

*Lindsay is still boning that dude named Avi Snow.

*Lindsay’s assistant Gavin is going to testify today about whether or not Mark Heller “tampered” with him as a witness.

*Remember how Lindsay punched that fortune teller Tiffany Mitchell in NYC? Radar says the New York DA has declined to prosecute Lindsay for assault. Gloria Allred is representing Mitchell, and Allred is already giving statements to the press, so you know this isn’t the end of anything. Allred is basically insinuating that Mitchell will end up suing Lindsay for damages in civil court. Which should be funny.

*Remember how Lindsay’s incompetent lawyer Mark Heller told the judge that Lindsay wants to do her 90 days of “lockdown rehab” in New York? Well, guess what? Crack butt. TMZ says “there appear to be no non-jail rehab facilities that will keep patients in against their will — anywhere in the U.S.” and in New York specifically the only way to be “locked down” in anything resembling rehab is to have a felony conviction for something. Which could totally be arranged. TMZ says there are no lockdown facilities in California either.

*So, what does this “no lockdown rehab” thing mean? TMZ says: “Lindsay’s actual sentence is 90 days in jail, but the judge said he’d allow her to complete it with lockdown rehab. Sources say the prosecutors believed such a facility was available when they offered the plea deal. It would seem a typical 90-day rehab program wouldn’t cut it. Lindsay has been there at least twice before. She constantly snuck out of Cirque Lodge in Utah and allegedly did the same thing at Betty Ford in California.” So… prosecutors are trying to figure it out, and jail is still on the table.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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Special thanks Cele Bitch