celebrities

Beyonce has been (badly) Photoshopping her pictures again

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Beyonce is hot. We’ve all seen her in the flesh – in REAL candids, like in concerts, at awards shows, etc. We know what she looks like. So why is she still so insistent on not only Photoshopping her pictures, but doing it so badly? Bey runs a very carefully controlled empire. We all remember when that super unflattering picture of her in concert popped up online a couple of years ago, leading her to ban all photography at her shows unless it was done by her PERSONAL photographer. However, she’s taken things one step further by even seriously altering her “candid” Instagram selfies, and it’s done so shittily, I seriously have to wonder if it’s a joke. Sorry, but last I checked, curtains don’t pull themselves in at waist level just to help you out. That’s the Photoshop liquify tool you’re working with, and whoever it is seriously is working with some 101-level skills. But it’s not even about how bad it is – though it is laughably so – it’s about the fact that Bey makes a huge deal out of releasing a song like ‘Pretty Hurts’, all about how superficial the world is and how she’s breaking free from that (easy to say when you’re objectively VERY attractive, thin and rich already) and then goes and does this amateur hour shit. This isn’t the first time she’s been called out about Photoshopping, either – and she’s certainly not the only one to do it. But for some reason, it just seems like more of a betrayal from Beyonce, who has been rather vocal about embracing herself flaws and all, and encouraging others to do the same. If you feel like you need to digitally squeeze yourself into Barbie proportions, fair enough. Live your life. But don’t pretend like you stand for anything but the same things everyone else does: vanity, to an extreme degree. Have a look through her Instagram and this shitty Photoshopping is everywhere. Either knock it off, Beyonce, or hire someone who actually knows more than Forward Warp. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Charlie Hunnam: ‘Doing 50 Shades of Grey would have been a disaster’

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I don’t know anything about Charlie Hunnam. I don’t watch Sons of Anarchy, I’ve never seen him in an interview and I don’t pay much attention to him in my daily life. That being said, I feel like he must be a rather clever and respectable young man, and that is based entirely on his decision to back out of 50 Shades of Grey because he realized how disastrous it would be. In a new interview with Men’s Health (via US Weekly), Charlie talks a bit about his decision not to take on the role of Christian Grey, though he still swears it’s because of his shooting schedule and not because he would never be taken seriously again. “I was going to finish playing a psychopath who’d just lost his wife [in Sons], and five days later I’d be on set playing Christian Grey,” the hunky 34-year-old told the mag for its December issue. “I was like, ‘This is going to be a f—ing disaster.’ It was the opposite of how I’ve tried to ground my career, not stretch myself too thin, and always do my homework. Hunnam further explained that “there’s a tendency in this Hollywood machinery to take on too much. You end up not being able to give everything you want.” He learned early on that that kind of lifestyle doesn’t work for him. “Since I was young, I’ve been aware that I need time to myself to process everything,” he told Men’s Health. Well, whatever the reason, dropping out of that softcore shit show is probably the best decision he’ll ever make in life. Keep in mind that he could have had far more fame and fortune by doing 50 Shades than he’ll ever get on Sons of Anarchy, at least mainstream-wise, so I think it says something of his character that he shied away from that. Here’s one more photo, for your troubles: Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Kim Kardashian broke the internet with her giant ass

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I’m so sorry to have to do this to you so early in the day. I’m putting the cover photo of Kim Kardashian with her ENTIRE ass front and center on camera behind a cut, not just because it’s NSFW, but because it’s NSFL and I care too much about you all. That’s right, Kim met up with photographer Jean-Paul Goude in Paris and they did this shoot for Paper Mag, which… I’m sorta dumbfounded. Kim has never been shy about getting out her ass, tits, or anything inbetween, but seeing it there, oiled up, right in the center of the frame is… I dunno. A bit off-putting? Completely unattractive? Of course, a woman’s job is not to be attractive 24/7, and that’s fine – if this was done as some statement against the patriarchy or blah blah blah, I could maybe somewhat support it (even if I don’t like it). But the problem is, Kim DOES think this is sexy. This is the only version of sexy she knows… and that’s really, really sad. Anyhow, pic behind the cut. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Welp, there it is, in all its glory. Listen, I know Kim has a giant ass, but doesn’t this look sorta Photoshopped? Like, it’s COMICALLY big. Like, not belonging to a real person big. I’m so confused! Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Usher’s stolen sex tape is on the black market

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If you weren’t interested in Usher‘s exclusive Cheerios single, maybe this will be more up your street: someone stole a sex tape he made and now it’s making its way around the black market, looking for a buyer. This, of course, is illegal and considered stolen property, but the seller doesn’t really seem to care about all that. From TMZ: TMZ broke the story … someone broke into Usher’s car in ATL back in 2010 and stole 2 laptops, 2 video cameras and a million bucks in jewelry. Turns out … a sex tape featuring Usher and wife Tameka Raymond was on one of the laptops. Someone tried selling the tape shortly thereafter but no one would touch it. But in the last few days the tape has resurfaced and someone is trying to hawk it. Whoever’s trying to sell it is not going to adult film companies … there’s no way they would touch it because they would never get a sign-off from Usher. So the sellers are going right to the blogs. We know famed lawyer Mark Geragos is repping Usher and is aggressively on the hunt to find the person who’s trying to cash in. When will people learn? Like, honestly. Yes, let’s shoot a sex tape and put it on my laptop, which we’ll then leave in my celebrity car. Come on! Also, I’ve never really understood the draw of making a sex tape, anyway. You’re having sex, it’s hot, that’s it. It takes a particular type of narcissism to get off on watching yourself have sex all over again. Dudes – care to explain? In any case, I doubt this will ever see the light of day, which is a blessing for us all. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Eminem raps about punching Lana Del Rey in the face

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Eminem has been problematic (to say the least) throughout his career. His violent lyrics – particularly towards women and gay/trans people – have been a serious cause for concern, even though he’s brushed it off as an “alter ego” and whatever the fuck other nonsense he’s saying. Well, now that he’s prepping for the release of his new album, he’s back on the scene and offending people left and right. Take, for instance, his cypher which he did with some fellow labelmates. I won’t go too far into it, but he has this lovely line: “Bitch, I punched Lana Del Rey right in the face like Ray Rice in broad daylight in plain sight of the elevator surveillance.” In addition to being a really shitty rap lyric, it’s also obviously (and once again) violent towards women. Why Lana Del Rey? Did he actually punch her? Why is he praising that scumbag Ray Rice? None of it makes any sense. I so want to root for Eminem sometimes but he makes it hard impossible. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Usher releases new song exclusively in… boxes of Cheerios at Wal-Mart

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I know things are getting a little seedy in the music world because people aren’t wanting to pay for music and we’re all just downloading everything, but it seems like times are really getting desperate for Usher, who released a new song exclusively in boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios sold at Wal-Mart. LOL, okay. From Billboard: A new song by Usher will be the prize at the bottom of select cereal boxes. Starting Tuesday, a exclusive single will be available for download with specially-marked Honey Nut Cheerios packages purchased at Walmart stores across the country. The track is called “Clueless” and comes amidst a prolonged wait for the singer’s new album, UR. Well, that’s… awesome for him, I guess? Frankly, I’d toss the music and just eat all the Honey Nut Cheerios. They’re so, so good – I haven’t had them in years! What do you think is happening here? Is releasing a song in a box of cereal a smart marketing move or the sign of a career in decline? Something tells me it’s the latter… Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Justin Bieber is getting a short visit from the karma fairy

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If karma paid Justin Bieber the visit he’s truly owed, she’d be there for the next year, so unfortunately we only get a small dose of comeuppance sent his way. Which is fair enough. Remember how he egged his neighbour’s house and was told to pay him and go to community service? Well, he’s forked over $80,000, done 6 of his required 12 anger management classes and it’s about time for some community service (though it’s hardly hard labour!). From TMZ: Justin Bieber will satisfy his community labor requirement in the egging case by working for MusiCares … a foundation that helps musicians struggling with health, addiction and other issues … TMZ has learned. Sources connected with the case tell TMZ … Justin will satisfy his 5-day labor requirement by working at the facility’s L.A. headquarters, doing things like painting walls and moving office furniture. We’re told he will NOT be teaching music to anyone … the entire 5 days will involve physical labor. People required to do community labor typically perform services in 3 ways … picking up trash on roads and freeways, graffiti removal and beach clean-up. The problem with Bieber — everyone involved realized it would be impossible for him to do any of this because there would be a mob scene which would probably prevent him from doing the work. We’re told there’s precedent for using MusiCares to fulfill community labor requirements. The Probation Dept. and judges have allowed it before, and it serves the function. Bieber’s lawyer Shawn Holley was in court Monday AM and told the judge Bieber would complete the community labor by February 10th.   Although the probation report specifically says arrangements are being made to complete community labor at MusicCares, Holley tells TMZ it’s not in cement. A bit of a rip-off, considering. I don’t give a shit what kinda celebrity he is. Take him to a remote highway and have him pick up trash piece by piece – who’s going to stop? Long haul truck drivers? I don’t think so. If they have him painting or whatever, I guess that’s something, but do you think he’ll actually do any REAL work there? Nope. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook