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Kim Kardashian is buying a private island to build North West a theme park

Ah, how the rich live. So dumb, so pointless. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West apparently have so much money between them, that they want to buy a private island off the coast of Australia on which they can build a Neverland-like theme park for their daughter, North West. From The Mirror: She is known to shower her only child with lavish gifts while they jet-set around the world together, but Kim Kardashian’s daughter North now reportedly looks set to get own private theme park to play around in. According to New Idea magazine, the curvaceous TV star is secretly looking into purchasing Turtle Island in Queensland, Australia, for the sum of $5 million AUD. The publication goes onto to state that Kim will most likely rename the idyllic location Isle Kardashian, which is said to boast views of the Great Barrier Reef. Private Islands Online says the property in question is fit for a “movie star or recluse celebrity”, and includes a four-bedroom mansion, helipad, botanical gardens and a swimming pool. Meanwhile, New Idea suggests Nori could soon be enjoying her own water slide and ferris wheel. Huh. That seems like a colossal waste of money, but then, so’s everything else these idiots do, so… Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Kim Kardashian got tackled at Paris Fashion Week

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are currently in France enjoying Paris Fashion Week (and wearing ridiculous fucking outfits like the one above), but things got ugly last night when “celebrity prankster” Vitalii Sediuk grabbed Kim as she was walking to her car, pulled her hair and attempted to shove her to the ground. The whole thing was caught on video and security subdued the asshole, but like… what the hell? First of all, Vitalii Sediuk is not a “prankster”, he’s an assaulter. He literally spends his entire life traveling around the world harassing and assaulting whatever celebrity catches his fancy. He has been arrested numerous times, has several orders of protection against him and yet… he’s still running free. This isn’t about Kim Kardashian or what you think of her, this is about the fact that some fucking weirdo is going to different countries to purposely hunt down and assault celebrities. This is a 25-year-old man who thinks this is okay. What the hell? Also, where’s the “prank” here? If there’s a joke involved, I’m missing it. In any case, Kim looked absolutely ridiculous – but she still looked better than Kanye managed with his Homeless Chic approach to the event. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Kim Kardashian took a selfie in the middle of her ice bucket challenge

Somehow, Ellen DeGeneres managed to convince Kim Kardashian to do the ice bucket challenge, but of course it couldn’t be done without Kim being Kim. That’s right: she took a selfie while doing the challenge on national TV. Frankly, I kinda thought the ice bucket challenge had died down now, but I guess not… I don’t think Kim posted this to her Instagram page, so maybe it’s another one for her upcoming selfie book? Ugh, whatever. If you want to see Kim get ice water poured over her head, you’ll have to tune into Ellen’s show today. For now, here’s a preview: Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

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Kim Kardashian ran away from a blow job

Alright, I know that title was a bit crass for so early in the morning, but I couldn’t help myself. Kim Kardashian (and the entire Kardashian/Jenner clan, for that matter) are filming over in Thailand right now, and while they’re all #blessed to be experiencing the country’s beauty (yes, that’s seriously a hashtag they used), they also can’t forget to take time for some selfies. Kim was working on what she probably thought was gonna be a pretty bad ass selfie with an elephant, but things sorta went awry when the beautiful, majestic animal blew a ton of air out of its trunk and scared the shit out of Kim. Best of all, it was all captured in a photo! This is just hilarious. I don’t watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians or any of their other endless spinoffs, but if this was going to be in an episode, I’d make an effort to tune in. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook