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Kim Kardashian is Captain Obvious: ‘Pregnancy Is Hard’

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Kim Kardashian gave birth to Kanye‘s baby, North West, nearly eight months ago now. However, that still didn’t preclude her from talking (AGAIN) about how “difficult” pregnancy is on The Ellen DeGeneres Show when she was interviewed this week. She also brought some personal family photos to “premiere” on the show (which she later posted to her own Instagram page) and was generally her obnoxious self.

“After having her I would have a million. [But] the pregnancy, I wouldn’t really wish that upon anyone.

“It’s all worth it in the end, so I would definitely suffer through that, but pregnancy was not a good experience for me. At all. I had a few medical issues, so it was really tough, and I gained a lot of weight…It was really hard mentally on me”

Having medical issues during pregnancy IS super tough, so I sympathize with her there. But “I gained a lot of weight” is what made it hard? Really? You’re growing a human being inside of you and you’re concerned because your feet got fat and you couldn’t wear your favourite Jimmy Choos? Get the fuck out. I know Kim Kardashian literally has nothing in life without her body, so I get the panic there, but if having a child can’t reduce your insane levels of narcissism, I don’t know what will.

That all being said, I don’t think anyone can argue that Nori isn’t absolutely adorable. I just seriously fear for this poor child as she gets older. She is part of the most psychotically self-obsessed family (on both sides) probably in modern history and that doesn’t bode well. I just hope she gets out before it swallows her up too, but somehow I think there’ll be no chance of that…

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Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her Body (Again)

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Kim Kardashian is back to showing off her body on twitter (above). Is it better or worse than showing off the stuff her baby got?

She posted selfies with Blac Chyna, rapper Tyga’s girlfriend, with the caption,

Getting right for the new year

And she posted another one, too!

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Honestly? Okay, fine. I’m impressed. I’m crazy impressed that she just had a baby and she’s in this great of shape.

DAMN YOU, KIM KARDASHIAN!!!

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Kim Kardashian Is Only Giving 10% of Her Charity Auction Proceeds to Charity

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Maybe Kim Kardashian isn’t so generous after all. Basically, she had an eBay clothing sale to help the victims of the recent typhoon in the Philippines, with a portion of the proceeds going to “International Medical Corps, a nonprofit organisation that provides critical health services on remote islands where families are struggling to access medical care and basic resources like food, clean drinking water and vital medications.” Sounds fantastic, right? Kim, who is worth $60 million, was doing something great in the world, and that’s to be celebrated.

Except there’s a problem. Turns out, that “portion of the proceeds” – which most stars make at least 50% if not more – is actually only 10% in Kim’s case. Uh… yes, I’m being serious. An eBay clothing auction for Kim’s shitty clothes that will pull in plenty of money – especially since most people know (think) it’s all going to charity – is only giving a measly 10% of the money raised to charity. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck off.

Of course, I’m not the only one calling this selfish crap out, and in fact Kim’s been getting a lot of flack for it, so much so that she felt the need to take to her blog to defend herself and point out just how generous she is on a daily basis. She tried to claim that eBay fees will suck up most of the money, which is pure bullshit. I sell on eBay all the time and their final value charge is roughly 3% (not more than 5 or 6%, though), which leaves at least 90%. Her talk about “agency fees” and all of that is just outright bullshit. I’m sorry, but there is WAY more than 10% of that money left over. Even if the “agency fees” and eBay fees equaled 25%, that’s still 75% of the fucking money that could go to these people, and NOT in her pockets. UGH.

Here’s her blog:

I feel compelled to speak about something that is in my head and my heart. Over the years, I’ve had to grow a thick skin. Being in the public eye, there are times I feel like I get criticized for any and everything I do. I’m used to it now. I just choose not to feed into negativity or become consumed by it.

The problem comes in when I get attacked for giving and trying to help people. My dad always taught me the importance of giving back. I don’t publicize everything I do to help charities and people all over the world. I do it because I want to. I do it because my dad taught me to. I do it because it’s the right thing to do. So for people to attack me for giving 10% of my eBay auction sales to the people of the Philippines, that hurts.

I do eBay auctions monthly and change the charity or church from time to time. I give 10% of all my earnings to charities, not just these eBay auctions. This month it’s for the people of the Philippines, last month was Life Change Community Church.

In regards to these eBay auctions, when the eBay numbers get broken down, the auction management agency that posts for me gets a percentage for all of their hard work, then eBay listing fees, end of auction fees, eBay Store fees, Paypal fees, etc., all add up to about half of the sale. Then I give 10% to a charity.

Truth is how the # is broken down, is neither here nor there. The people of the Philippines need all of our help, no matter how big or small.

Over the last 5+ years, I have listed thousands of items on eBay Giving Works for various causes. I will continue to do what is in my heart and am happy to know many others have enjoyed purchasing from me, as they too are giving with me.

Giving comes from the heart. We all need to be reminded of this as we celebrate the holiday season this year.

She must think we’re all as dumb as she is. Really, the fees add up to HALF THE SALE? What world does this woman live in and why does she assume no one else can do any actual math? Why bother? Honestly, if you really don’t give a shit, which 10% clearly says to me in this case, why do it? No one was going to conjure up any hate mail towards her for NOT thinking up a charity auction to put on eBay.

A big “fuck you” goes out to Kim Kardashian on this one.

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Kanye West Thinks Kim Kardashian Is Marilyn Monroe

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I long ago ran out of words for both of these idiots, but Kim Kardashian and Kanye West continue to prove what major morons they are on a daily basis. Kanye’s most recent foray into absolute fuckery was his claim that Kim is exactly like Marilyn Monroe because they’re both controversial. Uh… say what?

From his interview on Power 105′s The Breakfast Club:

“I have a love-hate relationship with the paparazzi, but actually I love them because they are empowering us.

“They are empowering us over Vanity Fair that want to say that Kate Upton is Marilyn Monroe. Kate Upton ain’t Marilyn Monroe, Kim is Marilyn Monroe. You know that. She was controversial; she’s controversial.

“This is the reality. I’m living inside of a dream world.”

LMAO, oooookay. I want some of what this motherfucker’s smoking, because that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I mean, Kate Upton’s not Marilyn Monroe, either, but I also have never heard anyone say that, so who knows where he got that from.

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Turns Out There Was A Whole Plan Behind Kim’s Ass Selfie

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Kim Kardashian posted an ass selfie that sent twitter a’twittering. By “ass selfie” I mean that it was a photo she took of her impressive backside. She added “#nofilter” and made it seem like it was a very casual, “Oh just postin’ a photo of my ass, NBD.” Kanye then reweeted it, adding “HEADING HOME NOW”.

Well, it turns out there was a whole plan behind (no pun intended) the ass-selfie, if sources are to believed, and I believe them because it’s the Kardashians. Everything they do is carefully timed publicity. They were the ones to release the first photo of their kid, which they did via social media. Here’s what insiders told Life & Style about Kim’s selfie, via Daily Mail:

Insiders say after weeks of working hard on her figure, the mother-of-one wanted to make sure that her perfect angles were captured and in the very best possible light.

‘She took so many pictures and deleted them before she and Kanye decided on the one she posted,’ an insider tells the publication. ‘He had the ultimate say about Kim putting up the picture and decided which one he liked best.’

The whole stunt was apparently made to appear that Kim had just merely decided to post a snap from a photo shoot.

[…] ’Kim was dying to get her picture taken in a bathing suit,’ the insider told the magazine.

I freakin’ love this. It’s as complicated as Nicolas Cage’s plan to steal the Declaration of Independence. Pathetic.

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Kim Kardashian Is Back In Black With Maroon Lipstick And Huge Boobs

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Kim Kardashian made her first big outing since giving birth to North West, the most spoiled baby in all the land. She went to the Mademoiselle C premiere in Paris, in a black boobstastic dress with cutouts, streaky blondish hair, and maroon lipstick.

We all agree this is an absolutely atrocious look, right? Especially for Kim Kardashian, but also for anyone. What in the everloving hell is this?

Nothing about this outfit was right.

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But what do you think? More pics below.

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North West Is Getting All Kinds of Free Designer Shit

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Kim Kardsahian and Kanye West are currently traipsing around France for Paris Fashion Week (that’s a thing, right?) and while they may have left their 3-month-old daughter, North, back in LA with roughly seven nannies (that’s a guess), she’s not far from their hearts because all the designers are lavishing the couple with free shit for the little girl.

Designers such as Celine, Givenchy and Lanvin sent over items from their latest collection, most of which are way too big for North and some of which look like they’re for boys (come on, Celine!), but whatever. Free shit for everyone! Kim posted pictures of the items on her Instagram page, as you do.

What’s funny to me is that celebrities are the ones with so much money that they don’t need a handout, and yet they’re the ones that get everything for free. It’s pretty stupid. Send me some designer stuff, designers! I’ll put it on eBay! I mean… I’ll treasure it deeply.

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