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Kim Kardashian is Captain Obvious: ‘Pregnancy Is Hard’

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Kim Kardashian gave birth to Kanye‘s baby, North West, nearly eight months ago now. However, that still didn’t preclude her from talking (AGAIN) about how “difficult” pregnancy is on The Ellen DeGeneres Show when she was interviewed this week. She also brought some personal family photos to “premiere” on the show (which she later posted to her own Instagram page) and was generally her obnoxious self.

“After having her I would have a million. [But] the pregnancy, I wouldn’t really wish that upon anyone.

“It’s all worth it in the end, so I would definitely suffer through that, but pregnancy was not a good experience for me. At all. I had a few medical issues, so it was really tough, and I gained a lot of weight…It was really hard mentally on me”

Having medical issues during pregnancy IS super tough, so I sympathize with her there. But “I gained a lot of weight” is what made it hard? Really? You’re growing a human being inside of you and you’re concerned because your feet got fat and you couldn’t wear your favourite Jimmy Choos? Get the fuck out. I know Kim Kardashian literally has nothing in life without her body, so I get the panic there, but if having a child can’t reduce your insane levels of narcissism, I don’t know what will.

That all being said, I don’t think anyone can argue that Nori isn’t absolutely adorable. I just seriously fear for this poor child as she gets older. She is part of the most psychotically self-obsessed family (on both sides) probably in modern history and that doesn’t bode well. I just hope she gets out before it swallows her up too, but somehow I think there’ll be no chance of that…

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Kanye West Thinks Kim Kardashian Is Marilyn Monroe

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I long ago ran out of words for both of these idiots, but Kim Kardashian and Kanye West continue to prove what major morons they are on a daily basis. Kanye’s most recent foray into absolute fuckery was his claim that Kim is exactly like Marilyn Monroe because they’re both controversial. Uh… say what?

From his interview on Power 105′s The Breakfast Club:

“I have a love-hate relationship with the paparazzi, but actually I love them because they are empowering us.

“They are empowering us over Vanity Fair that want to say that Kate Upton is Marilyn Monroe. Kate Upton ain’t Marilyn Monroe, Kim is Marilyn Monroe. You know that. She was controversial; she’s controversial.

“This is the reality. I’m living inside of a dream world.”

LMAO, oooookay. I want some of what this motherfucker’s smoking, because that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I mean, Kate Upton’s not Marilyn Monroe, either, but I also have never heard anyone say that, so who knows where he got that from.

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Kim Kardashian Swears She Hasn’t Had Weight Loss Surgery

Kim Kardashian sexy see through dress in New York with sister Kendall

Kim Kardashian had a baby earlier this year, so it would be totally normal for her to still be shedding baby weight and getting back in shape. After all, there is no timeline that women need to follow after giving birth, but when your only claim to fame is your tits & ass and how good you look exposing them, I suppose you need to seriously put a move on that.

Kim’s has pretty much got back to her pre-pregnancy weight, and it happened in fucking record time, leading some to speculate that she may have had some cosmetic intervention – an accusation which she has vehemently denied (or would, if she knew what the word means).

Here’s what she had to say about it all on Twitter:

“I am very frustrated today seeing reports that I got surgery to lose my baby weight. This is FALSE. I worked so hard to train myself to eat right & healthy, I work out so hard & this was such a challenge for me but I did it!!!”

“I’m so proud of my accomplishment & NO ONE will take this away from me with fake reports! Say what u want about me but I work hard & am the most disciplined person u will ever meet!”

Who am I to say whether or not she got some help to get her body back in shape after giving birth, and why should it matter to anyone else? While I do think it’s a shame if she went that route instead of chilling out and ACTUALLY being healthy like a normal person, it’s just whatever at this point with her.

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Surprise! Kim Kardashian Will Take Kanye West’s Last Name When They Marry

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Well, I guess it must be love for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, because Kimmy sure wasn’t willing to take Kris Humphries‘ last name after they tied the knot (not that I blame her). However, when it comes to marrying Kanye, She’ll be glad to add another surname to her own.

From E News:

“It’ll be Kim Kardashian West. Not hyphened. Maybe make [Kardashian], like, the middle.”

Well, that sounds… special. Also, why is it so hard for this girl to form sentences? She rivals Britney in that department! On another note, I wonder if this is something Kanye insisted upon. After all, they’re already doing whatever he wants for the wedding, so why not?

Also, if you cared to know any more goddamn details about Kanye’s stupid proposal, here ya go:

“I cried afterwards. I was shaking. And when you’re like, Is this really happening? But you’re just shaking…I honestly had no idea, none whatsoever,” the 33-year-old admitted. “I knew we were going to San Francisco for my birthday, because he had a show there the next night. So I thought it was just a birthday dinner.”

“My eyes were closed and then I got up and I still the whole time I didn’t think it was a proposal. I thought it was dinner on the baseball field and we had a nice orchestra. I still didn’t get it…when he got on his knee, I kind of figured out what was going on.”

Why do I not believe that Kim had no idea this was happening? More for the show – literally and figuratively!

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Kanye West Can’t Wait to Be Kim Kardashian’s Baby Daddy

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In today’s edition of “No Shit, Sherlock”, Kanye West apparently can’t wait to be a dad to the creature due to crawl out of Kim Kardashian‘s nether regions in just a few months’ time.

From Showbiz Spy:

“Kanye is going to do everything he needs to do to make sure Kim delivers his baby,” a source said.

“So if that means he has to go to classes and help her breathe, he’s going to be there. If he has to hold her hand and she squeezes the hell out of it, he’s going to be one hand short. If he has to cut the cord, he’s going to cut it.

“He’s going to do everything in his power to make this birth for his girl and their baby as smooth as possible. No doubt, he’s looking forward to it all.”

Someone needs to explain how childbirth works to Kanye, because Kim’s invariably going to have the baby regardless of whether Kanye goes nuts with preparation or sits on his ass sewing new skirts or whatever.  Also, I love how him holding her hand while she’s in labor is something he’ll do if he “has to”. What a charmer. These two idiots deserve each other.

Source: Evilbeetgossip.com

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Are Getting Matching “Commitment Tattoos”

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are absolute self-obsessed idiots – and therefore perfect for one another – so I don’t really have a problem with the idea of them getting matching commitment tattoos. Besides, I suppose it’s better than another televised sham wedding, eh?

From The Daily Star:

The pair, who are expecting their first child in June, have been to famous LA tattoo parlour Shamrock Social.

We’re told: “They’ll have each other’s names tattooed, leaving a big space for the baby’s name, so they all intertwine.”

Aw, isn’t that sweet – there’ll even be room for little Kimye. Though I have to wonder what the hold up is and why they’d need to visit the tattoo parlor first and plan all this out if they’re just having their names done. It only takes 15 minutes max to look through the font handbook – been there, done that.

Source: Evilbeetgossip.com

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Kim Kardashian’s Maternity Jeans Restored Her Sense of Self

Lord, give me strength. Kim Kardashian‘s reserves of stupid shit to say to reporters must be hitting an all-time low as she’s been coming out with some real clunkers lately. If possible, I think being pregnant with Kanye‘s baby has dulled what was left of her brain cells, as now she’s talking about how wearing maternity clothes makes her feel like who she was before getting knocked up. I don’t even know.

From her “Mommy Blog” (Kill me now!):

Hi guys! So I love sharing my favorite products and beauty and fashion tips with you all and I wanted to do my first mommy blog today to tell you about these new J Brand jeans I received. They are these super comfy maternity jeans with soft, stretchy side panels in the front and they are absolutely amazing! I feel like I’m back to my old self and I’m so happy! With this being my first pregnancy I’ve been finding it really difficult to find clothes that are comfortable and fit me well, but these are great. Are there any other moms to be out there who have tried these? I’d love to hear you pregnancy tips too!! :-) Xo

So, basically you stopped wearing clothes that were 10x too small for you and got… maternity clothes. For pregnant people like yourself. Listen, we’re all about feminism here and women can wear whatever they want, whenever they want, but I love how it was a mindblowing experience to discover that she didn’t have to squeeze herself into skinny jeans and chiffon button-down tops and could actually go for an elastic waist. Hell, I’m not even pregnant and I choose an elastic waist for the majority of the week (hell yeah, leggings!).

It’s also a shame that Kim has to solicit “pregnancy tips” which to most humans is just “common sense”. Maybe someone should make sure to tell her to take prenatal vitamins and eat lots of fruits and vegetables so her unborn baby gets as much nutrition as possible. While we’re offering tips, let her know she’ll need to buy diapers, which will need to be changed when the little one takes a shit. Good lord.

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