November 2014

celebrities

Amanda Bynes is sorry you found out about her wanting to murder her dad

Look, I know Amanda Bynes is seriously mentally ill and in need of real, sustained help, but this is a celebrity gossip site and she is a celebrity. We’re reporting on it, okay? Okay. Last weekend her roommates released some audio recording of Amanda fantasizing about how she wants to kill her dad, and that made it clearer than ever that the girl is not only a danger to others, but to herself, as well. Things have finally gone too far for Amanda, and she’s decided to release a statement (to Access Hollywood, of all places) on the recordings. “I’m sorry I trusted people who clearly were not my friends and capitalized on my illness. I am doing my best to get better. I am truly sorry for the statements I made. I am sorry for any pain I caused my family and others,” Amanda said in a statement released to Access by her attorney, David Esquibias. “I am thankful for everyone’s patience and understanding. I never expected others to take advantage and profit from my condition. I’m disappointed with those who lulled me into a false sense of security only to find out they really are only interested in selling my privacy to the media.” I mean, obviously these “friends” she was staying with are scumbags and she should get away from them (and into a mental health facility, but that’s neither here nor there), but also… she clearly was talking about hurting her family. While she later tweeted that she was “joking” (no doubt on the advice of her attorney), sorry… no one jokes about that. Especially not when they have a publicly acrimonious relationship with their parents. Someone get her some help soon, seriously. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

celebrities

Kim Kardashian is buying a private island to build North West a theme park

Ah, how the rich live. So dumb, so pointless. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West apparently have so much money between them, that they want to buy a private island off the coast of Australia on which they can build a Neverland-like theme park for their daughter, North West. From The Mirror: She is known to shower her only child with lavish gifts while they jet-set around the world together, but Kim Kardashian’s daughter North now reportedly looks set to get own private theme park to play around in. According to New Idea magazine, the curvaceous TV star is secretly looking into purchasing Turtle Island in Queensland, Australia, for the sum of $5 million AUD. The publication goes onto to state that Kim will most likely rename the idyllic location Isle Kardashian, which is said to boast views of the Great Barrier Reef. Private Islands Online says the property in question is fit for a “movie star or recluse celebrity”, and includes a four-bedroom mansion, helipad, botanical gardens and a swimming pool. Meanwhile, New Idea suggests Nori could soon be enjoying her own water slide and ferris wheel. Huh. That seems like a colossal waste of money, but then, so’s everything else these idiots do, so… Follow us on Twitter | Facebook