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Kirk Cameron thinks women need to stay in the kitchen this Christmas
Kirk Cameron, beloved TV star from our childhood and devout, evangelical Christian, has an important message to share with us womenfolk this holiday season: Stay in the kitchen where you belong. After all, ladies, it’s our job to make sure the house looks nice and to prepare glorious feasts to set at our men’s feet in a gesture of devotion and humility. What are you waiting for? Get in there and start cooking! I’ll paste this delightful nugget of ignorance and fuckery below, but in case you’re at work and can’t watch it (or you just don’t want to look at his stupid face), here’s what he’s said: “If you are a mom, if you are a wife, if you’re the keeper of your home, I want you to know that your joy is so important this Christmas. Because Christmas is about joy and if the joy of the Lord is your strength, remember, the joy of the mom is her children’s strength, so don’t let anything steal your joy.” “If you let your joy get stolen, it will sap your strength. Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way that you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you cook, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions that you keep. Invite your whole neighborhood into your Christmas, and invite the world into our story of our king and his kingdom.” You know what steals my joy? Kirk Cameron. This guy needs to fuck off. (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = “//connect.facebook.net/en_GB/all.js#xfbml=1”; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’)); Post by Kirk Cameron. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook
Katy Perry tried to sic Diplo on Taylor Swift
One of the biggest mysteries in life, to me, is why people are so damn corny. For instance, why do grown ass adults – adults who are rich and famous and have far better things to worry about than petty “feuds” with former friends & fellow artists, you would think – waste their time on stupid childhood bullying shit? Case in point: We all know Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are no longer buddies, but instead of just making sly remarks to each other on Twitter, Katy’s taken it one step further by having her possible boyfriend Diplo tweet out nasty shit about her, like that he was starting a Kickstarter to buy Taylor an ass. Uh… okay, cornball. Someone should make a kickstarter to get taylor swift a booty — BABY DADDY (@diplo) November 12, 2014 Get Taylor Swift A Booty https://t.co/RpkB8JExSV — BABY DADDY (@diplo) November 12, 2014 are taylor swift fans called the swift boat veterans? — BABY DADDY (@diplo) November 12, 2014 Like, LOL I guess, but you’re a grown ass man. Whether or not Katy put him up to it (and y’all know I am a not-so-closeted KatyCat, so I hate to think this of my Queen), Diplo needs to reevaluate his life and consider the fact that he’s sending bullying tweets to Taylor Swift, whose album has sold more in one week than anything he’s ever worked on will do in his lifetime. While I’m sure Taylor’s not phased by the shade, it’s really pathetic that this is what this dude spends his time on. Not here for it. Also, cool insult. It’s totally not stupid and fucked up to criticize a woman’s body at all. After all, Taylor Swift exists for your viewing pleasure, and if you want her to have an ass, she should have one! Just please, no one tell him that his girlfriend doesn’t really have one, either… I’ve always thought Diplo was a bit of a dickhead, but now I’m sure of it. BYE. UPDATE!!!!! Lorde weighs in on Diplo’s “tiny penis”: @diplo should we do something about your tiny penis while we're at it hm — Lorde (@lordemusic) November 13, 2014 Follow us on Twitter | Facebook
Richard Simmons isn’t doing too well these days
You have to be a pretty miserable person in life not to enjoy Richard Simmons. He’s adorable! He has amazing hair and wears tiny sequined shorts and does jazz hands every day of his life. What’s not to love? He also seems to be a really sweet, genuine guy who actually cares about all the people he meets and works with on a daily basis. However, things aren’t all that cheerful for Richard lately, as apparently he’s suffering from depression as a result of a physical illness he’s been experiencing over the past year. Oh no! From TMZ: Various people who are extremely close to Richard tell TMZ … he has gone radio silent with them, he does not accept or return phone calls, and he has his housekeeper turn people away when they come to visit him. Richard has not shown up at his famed studio, Slimmons in Beverly Hills for months. Simmons was a fixture there, regularly teaching classes. The staff offers no explanation for his prolonged absence. A source extremely close to Richard — one of the few people with whom he is in contact — tells TMZ the fitness guru is in a massive state of depression over a bum knee. He says doctors told Richard he needs a left knee replacement and if he doesn’t get one he will never be able to exercise again. The source says Richard is terrified of the surgery and has put it off all year. He had a right knee replacement 4 years ago and he put off the surgery for nearly a decade … he was that frightened. We’re told Richard has tried stem cell and red blood platelet therapy — like Kobe Bryant — but it failed. That’s so sad! However, it could be SO much worse – it could have been cancer or something equally as fatal, but it isn’t. However, I guess since exercise is his love and livelihood, it actually does make a massive difference and I can see why he’d be depressed. We need his happiness, though. Come on, Richard! Follow us on Twitter | Facebook
James Franco is releasing an album inspired by The Smiths
James Franco truly is a modern renaissance man, a jack of all trades. Is there nothing he can’t do? In addition to his acting work, writing, and visual art, he’s now a singer-songwriter and he’s releasing an album inspired by The Smiths (and an accompanying film, as well). Joy! From Pitchfork: James Franco has a band with Tim O’Keefe, his former art school classmate. They’re called Daddy, and they’ve just announced Let Me Get What I Want, an album/film inspired by the Smiths. It is not, however, a straight-up cover of the Smiths classic. In Franco’s newest book of poetry, Directing Herbert White: Poems, there are two sections titled “Poems Inspired by Smiths’ Songs”. (Which is exactly what you think it is.) Franco and O’Keefe decided to write songs around those poems, using Franco’s words as the lyrics. So: “This Charming Man” is a song based on a poem based on a song, as are all of the songs on Let Me Get What I Want. Make sense? Most amazingly, they got former Smiths bassist Andy Rourke to play on every song. The album will be out in 2015, and every song will be accompanied by a video that, when watched in sequence, adds up to a single story. Each song is also accompanied by a painting by Franco. Huh. I feel like James Franco has too much time on his hands and I don’t really know what’s up with him. Anyway, here’s the video for ‘This Charming Man’:
“The new ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ trailer has more James Spader” links
The extended trailer for The Avengers: Age of Ultron has more James Spader. [Pajiba] In
Bryan Cranston reads ‘You Have to F*cking Eat’ and it’s glorious!
We all remember how the Internet exploded when Samuel L. Jackson read the now infamous Go The Fuck To Sleep, but now that book has a sequel and it’s being narrated by none other than Walter White himself, Bryan Cranston. I think Bryan was a perfect pick for You Have to Fucking Eat, and basically this clip is everything you need to get through this Thursday. Lucky for all of us, Audible is offering the entire uncensored audio book for FREE on their site, and you can download that here, if that’s your thing. I don’t know if this one has all the shine of the original, but it’s still pretty solid and hilarious. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook
Kim Kardashian gives us full frontal nudity for ‘Paper’
Yesterday, the Internet was apparently broken because Kim Kardashian decided to show us her very shiny bare ass. Well, things are getting a little more serious today, as it turns out the shoot actually included full frontal nudity for her feature in Paper Mag. Pics are below the cut as they’re very NSFW, but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before if you’ve followed the trajectory of Kim Kardashian’s career up to this point. Everyone keeps talking about how good she looks, and how happy, but why wouldn’t she be happy? She made a name for herself naked, and she’s still naked and riding the wave of that success, so to speak. I mean, look, you wanna get naked? Do your thing. The woman likes getting her bits out – so what? I just kinda wonder what the point is. Like, the point of this entire thing. We all know what Kim Kardashian’s various bits and bobs look like – we’ve all seen things going in and out of her various crevices and what she looks like with and without varying levels of clothing for yers – but how on earth does this have anything to do with anything? What’s it got to do with her the accompanying interview, which contains passages like the following?: I ask her whether Kim Kardashian would exist without social media. “I don’t think so…” she says, slowly, then reconsiders. “I don’t think social media was that heavy when we started our show, but I think we really evolved with social media.” The next day, as I scroll through Instagram, I come across a photograph of her, taken the night of our interview, wearing the champagne getup at a restaurant in Venice. I also find two photos of North toddling around the pumpkin patch in a tiny fringed cape and Baby Vans. One of these pictures has more than a million likes. “I love sharing my world with people,” Kardashian tells me, and I detect no hint of falseness. “That’s just who I am.” No more, no less. Sigh. Life. Follow us on Twitter | Facebook