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People Mag writer calls out celebrities & publicists in a hilarious resignation letter

Jul 3, 2016 marc

Sara Hammel may be my new hero. Hammel was, up until recently, an award-winning entertainment journalist working for People Magazine. Hammel had been working for People Mag for 14 years as a freelance writer, and she had covered some really big entertainment stories, like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ Rome wedding. Well, after 14 years, she had enough. Enough of the celebrities, enough of their bats—t crazy publicists, and enough of the not-so-subtle changes with how People Magazine functions as an entertainment news source. So when Hammel resigned, she did so in a letter which is being called “bridge-burning” and “scorched earth.” And not only that, she made the letter public, so anyone can read it. Here you go: Dear People Magazine, I quit. It’s not me, it’s you. It’s been a wildly dysfunctional 14 years, and you’re an entirely different magazine than when we first got together. I swear half the current staff doesn’t know my name, despite my contribution to something like fifteen hundred stories in your celebrity annals, so here’s a refresher: I worked inside your London, Los Angeles and New York bureaus, covered breaking news in nine countries, and dealt with too many celebrities to remember (I know this because I was cruising through your archives recently and found my name on files I had no recollection of writing, and interviews with people I have no memory of meeting, like Ellen and Portia together, plus both leads in Nip/Tuck and that guy from Burn Notice). My first celebrity assignment for you was Spice Girl Geri Halliwell in 2002. My last was Robert De Niro in April 2016. In between, there were memorable encounters galore, including making the gorgeous and empathic Mariska Hargitay ugly-cry (turns out she cries at like every charity-related event, phew), enduring an Oscar winner’s public bullying over an intimate dinner, facing a personal crisis at Tom Cruise’s wedding in Rome, getting basically, kind of spat on by a snotty J. Lo (okay, it was like a very wet pffttt in my general direction, really obnoxious), having fun with endless lower-key celebs like Rosario Dawson and Kyle MacLachlan and Michael Douglas, observing just how stiff and awkward George Clooney is around kids, insulting Sheryl Crow’s baby, and getting groped/harrassed by an A-list [omitted] performer in New York and Paris (that’s not to be flip—it was violating as hell. I’m still pissed I didn’t jab him in the balls with my pen). This is just what the entitled stars and their bat—t crazy publicists put me and many other talented, hard-working reporters through. You people, as it turns out, are worse. Stupidly, we expect loyalty and support from you after years of service. We are naïve. Despite your nicey nice, glossy and chirpy veneer, some of us think of you more as the Leo DiCaprio of magazines, using up every beautiful model that crosses your path (“beautiful model”= “award-winning journalist” in this scenario), discarding them, and pretending you leave no wake behind you. I’m oddly surprised my tenure here is ending not with explosive hatred stoked by a cold dismissal from an insensate behemoth (i.e. you)—a fate I watched ashen-faced friends and colleagues endure before my eyes during the Los Angeles bureau’s 2008 culling—but with a slow fade-out and a final venting of my gossip-weary spleen. Then again, that’s why I’m happy being freelance. I’ve survived something like eight rounds of layoffs where talented colleagues were bitch-slapped into oblivion and, I hope, will never give their nights, weekends, relationships and sanity again to keep up with an email chain about whether Jennifer Aniston is pregnant at 47 because of those tummy photos and what kind of mom will she be, when really she just had an extra burrito at lunch; but oh, wait, the rep says it’s just a rumor so there’s no story this week after all. Read the rest in my mini-memoir. I will say, what happens after that is that my debut teen mystery, the one I spent my adult life making into a reality, but which, despite the schlock regularly featured in its pages and online, People decided to ignore—more to the point, they ignored me entirely—even after I toiled away for them for 14 years. They wouldn’t even give me a digital post that I wrote, sourced, and agreed to remove the name of my book from (LOL). That book is called The Underdogs. I’ll leave you with the kicker: As I was crafting this letter, a Tweet came through from one of your top editors, Kate Coyne, crowing about her full-page People feature promoting her brand-new book, accompanied by a colorful screenshot. “Don’t ask how, but I got in touch with someone at @people—now I’m in the new issue. So grateful!” You should be, Kate. Enjoy it while it lasts. Sincerely, Sara Hammel [Letter via the NY Post] That’s some good dirt! I want to know the identities of those two blind items: who is A) the Oscar winner who publicly bullied Hammel over an intimate dinner and B) the A-lister who groped and harassed her? I love all of the named shade too – while I love J.Lo, I have no doubt that she’s spat/phlegm’d on reporters. And I think the whole idea of Clooney being really awkward around children is HILARIOUS. Granted, I’m awkward with kids too, but I’m not George Clooney! As for the email chains about Jennifer Aniston’s burrito baby… that’s a very “how the sausage is made” story about editorial decisions, isn’t it? That People Mag reporters are email-chaining about Aniston possibly being pregnant at 47 is… sad, I think. Covers courtesy of People Magazine.

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Doug Stanhope: Johnny Depp ‘thanked’ me for ‘being honest’ about Amber Heard

Jun 21, 2016 videos

Embed from Getty Images Just days after Amber Heard first went to court, seeking and receiving a restraining order against Johnny Depp after she presented a mountain of evidence that Depp was a domestic abuser, Depp’s good friend Doug Stanhope came out to defend his bro. Stanhope, a comedian, wrote an “op-ed” for The Wrap about how all of Depp’s friends knew that Amber was a super-manipulative wet blanket and everybody hated her and she was crying abuse to blackmail Depp. It was one of the biggest douche-bro defenses I’ve ever read. Amber thought so too. She filed a lawsuit against Stanhope for defamation days later. I sincerely hoped that the lawsuit would shut him up. It did not. Stanhope appeared on Howard Stern’s show on Monday to tell his side of the story. Douchebag says what? Johnny Depp’s pal Doug Stanhope broke his silence about the defamation lawsuit Amber Heard filed over the explosive op-ed he wrote for TheWrap, in which he claimed that the actress was blackmailing her estranged husband. Stanhope, 49, was a guest on The Howard Stern Show on Monday, June 20. He told Stern that Legalzoom.com is defending him in the case. “Anything that I say, they can twist my words,” the comedian complained. “It’s such a bulls–t suit.” He went on to detail his side of the story about the article, and how it went viral after it was posted on TheWrap on May 29, six days after Heard filed for divorce from Depp. “I put it on my website. The title was ‘At a Loss for Words’ … whatever it was. TheWrap got it as an exclusive, however that worked, and said, ‘Amber Heard Is Blackmailing Johnny Depp — This Is How I Know.’ I didn’t write that f–king title. I didn’t put that stupid tabloid title in there. I’m a better writer than that, so I don’t know if it’s hinged on that, I don’t know how much of it is spite.” While Heard called the piece “highly defamatory,” Stanhope said that Johnny Depp was happy with it. “I had no contact with [Depp] until he texted me after that went out and said, ‘Hey, thanks for being honest.’ He didn’t know that was going out. I was a little petrified because it kind of made him look like a bitch. ‘Cause he was kind of a bitch,” he said. Although he admitted it “still feels like name-dropping,” Stanhope maintained that he didn’t write the op-ed for publicity, and said the lawsuit is comical to him because he doesn’t have millions of dollars to lose. “The idea of some Hollywood supermodel lady winning all of my s–t … She would be locking the doors driving down my street even without seeing a person. I live on the Mexican border in this dirty pothole-riddled neighborhood.” Stanhope still stands by what he wrote, and repeated his allegations from the article on the radio show. “I visited him that day,” he said of May 21, the day Heard says Depp hit her with a cellphone during a violent argument. “He was alluding to the fact that she was going to do something like this. She didn’t come out until a week later that that happened. But it happened that night, and he was alluding to she’s going to do something like this.” “I think what she’s trying to do is make me shut the f–k up,” Stanhope concluded. “Because I can’t say anything about it, and now I’m talking more.” [From Us Weekly] The most interesting part is that Depp called him to “thank” him for being “honest” after the op-ed was published. If you go back and read the op-ed, it’s not like Stanhope was being honest about witnessing whatever dynamic between Amber and Johnny. He was being “honest” about the sh-t Depp had told him, stuff which Stanhope just took as gospel. Depp told Stanhope that Amber was going to claim that he (Depp) was abusive. And since Stanhope is incapable of critical thinking, he just believed that Depp was some kind of savant rather than an abuser who was enlisting his bros’ help in gaslighting his victimized wife. Embed from Getty Images Photos courtesy of Getty, Fame/Flynet.

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Yachts of Fun

Jun 21, 2016 celebrityabout

The O.G. of the O.C. is back! But did Vicki Gunvalson manage to win the ladies back after all the insane drama she put them through? That was her plan on The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 11 Episode 1, but it may prove easier said than done for Vick … Watch The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 11 Episode 1 Online Gunvalson, ostracized for Brooks Ayers faking cancer last season, was on the outs and looking to get back to being the ultimate insider. First, though, The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 11 Episode 1 brought us up to date on what the other wives are doing. In Tamra Barney’s case, that would be Eddie Judge. A lot. “I scream, ‘Oh, God!’ at least 20 times!” she claimed. So her sex life is going well. Meghan King Edmonds, meanwhile, was looking to get her baby-making on with Jim … IVF style. Not as hot. You do what you gotta do though, are we right? New Housewife Kelly Dodd has also been through IVF, just like Meghan’s mom and Heather had been, so she has that support system. Shannon Beador was excited to tell viewers that since David Beador’s affair was discovered, they worked things out and are doing great! Now for the elephant in the lavishly-decorated room … Heather Dubrow was throwing a party and debating whether to invite Vicki, who wants to move on and be part of her friends’ lives again. She swore she hadn’t suspected Brooks was lying, and Heather finally invited her; Vicki brought former co-star Jeana Keough as backup. “I definitely know Jeana will have my back,” she said. The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 11 Trailer Jenna yes. Everyone else was a question mark. At the party, Tamra and Kelly got along great, and Kelly seemed happy to see Vicki … because they share an aesthetician. Good times. Talking to Meghan, Kelly responded that she “seems like a lovely lady.” Meghan wasn’t having it, telling her friend to keep her guard up. “‘Seems’ is the key word here. Be careful.” Heather then revealed, during a toast, that Terry had endured a health scare which made them take stock of what really matters in life. That means inviting everyone they love to celebrate living … even Vicki? That was the implication, but the two had yet to discuss things. Finally, Gunvalson told Dubrow that she wanted forgiveness for last year, though she still refuses to admit she knew Brooks was lying at all. Time will tell how long they drag THIS out. What did you think of the premiere? To see it in full, follow the links above to watch The Real Housewives of Orange County online.

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Tom Hiddleston poses shirtless, in boxers for W Mag: thirsty or sexy?

Jun 20, 2016 videos

You know it’s a good day when you can snort-giggle your way through a never-before-seen W Magazine editorial and say to yourself, “OMG WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THIS?” Tom Hiddleston *might* need to fire his publicist, his manager, and anyone else who gave the go-ahead for these photos – go here to see W Magazine’s NSFW, glorious Hiddlesdong editorial. The photos were taken back when Tom was in LA, although I don’t know if these are from his last visit a few weeks ago or from a few months ago. I do know that I cringed. It’s one thing to do a shirtless photoshoot for an artsy magazine. It’s quite another to strip down to your tight, white boxers and let everyone see the specifics of your bulge. I mean… Tom. Please. Don’t do this. I know it’s too late, but this was a trap and you fell into it, dong first. (And now I’m making myself laugh to the point where I can barely type.) Even more hilarious? W Magazine posted these photos with an article called “Everything You Need to Know About Tom Hiddleston, Taylor Swift Boyfriend.” Obvious PR is Obvious. Even though I think Tom seemed a bit surly and overwhelmed, maybe he’s not. Maybe this is exactly what he wanted. He does tell W Magazine: “I’d make a terrible spy, because everybody knows who I am.” O RLY? A lot of people knew Tom Hiddleston, but now that he’s with Taylor Swift, everybody will know his name. And maybe that was his goal in the first place. But the thing about it is… he just seems super-thirsty. Like, “please, look at me, I’ll wear white boxers and everything!!” Photos courtesy of Mona Kuhn/W Magazine.

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Taylor Swift took Tom Hiddleston for a ride on her fancy private plane, huh

Jun 17, 2016 videos

At long last, my Tiddles high is finally wearing off. I was positively giddy for 24 hours because I was just excited about the TIDDLES. Glorious Tiddles. But now it’s time for the come-down. After enjoying some Rhode Island Tiddlesbanging, Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift are off! They flew out of Rhode Island on her private plane yesterday, and the Daily Mail and TMZ had the photos (I’m including them below). While this is not the first time Lord Dragonfly has flown on a private plane, I would imagine it’s the first time he’s flown on a girlfriend’s private plane. Taylor Swift whisks Tom Hiddleston off on her private jet https://t.co/qLzdMyYXNF pic.twitter.com/iZRTxRwppz — Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) June 16, 2016 So what do we know? We know that Tom and Taylor are still together. He wasn’t scared off by the immediate craziness that came with their staged beach canoodle. We know that Taylor is treating Tom like he’s fancy, complete with trips to her huge Rhode Island mansion for makeout sessions and then maybe some under-the-sweater action on her private plane. Is Tom in it to win it? Unknown. But the tabloids are having a great time trying to figure it out! Here are some assorted stories: Calvin Harris is still pissy. E! News had a new story about Calvin yesterday afternoon in which sources say Calvin was the one who had “checked out” of the relationship for a while and “Their rhythm as a couple was just off. They beated to a different beat. Taylor and Adam have been checked out for sometime now.” But how does Calvin feel about the Tiddlesbanging? “Adam is over Taylor in every way shape and form. He knew she was talking to someone towards the end of their relationship.” Uh-huh. Taylor did the dumping! Page Six is still insisting that Swift dumped Calvin Harris, but now they say she dumped him for Tom, and she gave Calvin “a bulls–t excuse about her career. He was ring shopping.” Taylor and Tom’s Met Gala dance. The Sun brought in a body-language expert to analyze Tom and Taylor’s awkward, flailing dancing at the Met Gala. The expert determined that they were definitely showing their interest for each other back then Tom pounced right away. Sources tell Reveal Mag that as soon as Tom found out that Taylor and Calvin were over, he called her that day AND had flowers delivered to her. Considering they were in the same city (LA) when the break-up announcement was made, wouldn’t it have been easier for him to just stop by her house? Tom’s suede boots. For the Rhode Island staged photo op, Tom wore $425 suede Aquatalia Ace boots. Who wears suede boots to the beach? And finally, this: He blocked Taylor Swift's brother and also deleted all his photos with Taylor Swift. He tweeted this & deleted it. pic.twitter.com/Kl59NMJZFo — Pop Crave (@PopCrave) June 15, 2016 Photos courtesy of WENN.

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People Mag: Johnny Depp & Amber Heard ‘should have never gotten married’

May 31, 2016 videos

Here are some photos of Johnny Depp in Stockholm on Monday. He’s still touring Europe with his band, the Hollywood Vampires. Do you think Team Depp’s crisis management just operates without him? Or is Depp on those conference calls, suggesting quotes that need to be placed in People Magazine? The only thing I know for sure is that Team Depp was hard at work on Memorial Day. Their current vibe is “let’s throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.” Which is the only explanation for two of the most blatantly pro-Depp pieces thus far, in People Magazine and TMZ. Some highlights: TMZ’s police sources are chatty. TMZ’s “law enforcement sources” want you to know that Amber Heard did not tell police officers that Johnny Depp had smashed her in the face with an iPhone. TMZ’s sources have already claimed that Amber was sporting no visible injuries and now they’re reiterating that Amber did not tell cops the whole story. TMZ ends their story with this: “We’re told Amber still has not filed a police report. If Johnny’s right and he never touched her … had she filed an official report she could be prosecuted for a felony — filing a phony police report.” Just what every victim of domestic abuse wants to hear, right? If you do come forward and tell (gossipy) police officers about your abuse, you could be prosecuted. Thanks, TMZ! Update: Oh, great, TMZ has another story about how Amber tried to “set up” Johnny by screaming for security when they were 20 feet away from each other. Amber and Johnny should have never gotten married. And now for the “derp” part of Team Depp’s media strategy, People Magazine has unnamed sources saying the most obvious things. Things like “they are just not good together. They had lots of problems before they got married, and should have never gotten married. Their personalities are just not compatible.” YA THINK? People’s source also says Heard caused a lot of “drama” and that she “exacerbates” his “jealousy issues,” and Depp is “very insecure when it comes to Amber.” I love that she’s getting the blame for “exacerbating” his unhinged jealousy. OH SHE MADE HIM JELLY. Then she totally deserved it, right? Amber is incredibly upset. E! News has one of the few pieces with quotes from pro-Amber sources. E!’s source says: “This has been incredibly upsetting for Amber but she knows she is doing the right thing. It has been very traumatic for her to finally speak out, but she needs to do what she can to protect herself.” The source also says that Amber “tried to hide what was really happening in the marriage from most of her friends because she wanted to believe that it would get better. That things would change. But ultimately they didn’t and so she had to do what she did to stop it.” I believe that. You know why? Because it happens all the time. The victim believes that things will change for the better. The victim is embarrassed that this is happening. The victim doesn’t think anyone will believe her/him. The victim doesn’t want to tell other people because then it becomes real. Meanwhile, Amber’s team finally responded to Doug Stanhope’s guest column in The Wrap (you can see our coverage here). Stanhope claimed that Amber was “blackmailing” Depp, and Stanhope based his accusations on stuff that Depp had told him. Amber’s lawyer tells The Wrap that Stanhope’s “allegations against Ms. Heard are absolutely and unequivocally false” and that the guest column “has no basis in reality and is nothing but the typical celebrity muckraking for profit.” Amber’s lawyer demanded that The Wrap take the column down and they’re currently speaking to their lawyers, but Amber’s lawyer told The Wrap: “It is highly offensive and disturbing that you would choose to publish it in the first place.” Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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Duchess Kate repeats a McQueen for the Queen’s garden party: cute or meh?

May 25, 2016 marc

I wouldn’t have even used this ^^ photo but the @KensingtonRoyal Twitter account actually posted this pic to promote the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s appearance at Tuesday’s Buckingham Palace garden party. Isn’t that interesting? The KensingtonRoyal account – the official account for Will, Kate and Harry – is often accused of cherry-picking particular images that reflect the younger royals as looking particular good and/or engaged. But this photo seems particularly unfortunate for Kate – it’s almost like the KP press office is just owning the fact that this is Kate’s Social-Interaction-Face. As for Will and Kate’s appearance at the palace yesterday, Kate has been to the annual garden party several times before, but this is William’s first time. I would suspect that, if pressed, his press office would say that this is the first time he’s ever had an opening in his diary to attend! Kate repeated an Alexander McQueen coatdress which we saw back in 2013, for Prince George’s christening. I didn’t really care for it then, and I really don’t care for it now. The boob ruffle is just odd, and whenever Kate tries to move her arms (to touch her hair, or whatever), the coat bunches up in weird places. The whole thing looks sloppy, and it’s not just the sh-tty tailoring. It’s the design! Why would anyone want a big, vertical ruffle down their chest? Will and Kate also chatted with some medical personnel at the garden party, because apparently the “support” OBGYNs who delivered George and Charlotte were there. Maybe this makes me sound prissy, but I would not want to socialize with my gyno at a garden party at the palace. That just seems awkward and unnecessary. You can read some quotes from the doctors here. They’re very forthcoming with details about the lead-up to the royal births. Also, check out the refreshments at the garden party! I hope Will and Kate are taking notes on the Queen’s refreshments – when Will and Kate hosted a get-together before their India-Bhutan tour, the refreshments were really struggling. That strawberry (??) cake looks AMAZING. ? A selection of the cakes available to guests at today's Garden Party pic.twitter.com/E1ZL1KaYtX — The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) May 24, 2016 Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images Photos courtesy of @KensingtonRoyal and Getty.