the Royals

The Guardian got me. The British paper pulled an April Fool’s Day prank and they got me. I really, really thought their “exclusive” royal report was for real, and I was even in the midst of writing it up before it occurred to me that this was an April Fool’s Day prank. You can read their hilariously trolling piece here. The gist? For more than a month, the British papers have been going HAM on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. For the most part, the royal stories have been a sideshow to the larger political conversation in the UK, which is about “Brexit.” Brexit = the British exit from the European Union. The vote isn’t until June, and it’s one of the big political stories in Britain. So… the Guardian suggested that there was a conspiratorial connection between the political Brexit story and the gossip stories about “Work-Shy Will” and the “Duchess of Do-Little.” According to the Guardian’s prank, the royals believe there’s a connection. I should note that they’re actually basing this in reality: one of turning points for William was his vague speech back in February which many interpreted as “William speaks out against Brexit.” There were also stories last month in which real “sources” claimed the Queen is pro-Brexit. So, the Guardian slyly claims that the royal family thinks there’s a conspiracy afoot, and they plan on saying something about it. The royal family is seriously considering making a dramatic intervention in the referendum debate with an announcement that it supports Britain remaining inside the European Union. That the royals are prepared to risk provoking a potential constitutional crisis shows just how deep their anger is at parts of the British press and senior politicians. According to a senior source close to official figures, there was particular resentment at the Sun’s newspaper’s depiction of the Queen as a Brexit supporter. But the anger runs through the generations at Buckingham Palace: there was fury at the claims about “workshy” Prince William, a campaign mounted by two papers with an anti-EU stance, the Daily Mail and the Sun. And there was a feeling last week that rock bottom had been hit with a story in the Mail that Kate was now posher than the other royals. Another well-connected source explained that the royals now see a tightening conspiracy between the pro-exit papers, notably the Sun, Telegraph and Mail, and certain politicians. “The leader of Vote Leave is Michael Gove – that awful little leaker who put it about that the Queen wanted out. They can’t stand him. And as for Boris, the other main outer – he’s a cycling maniac from Islington. All he has done for the royal family is make it difficult to get around London in a decent-sized Daimler. And the third of the trio – Farage – what another awful little man.” Part of the reason for stepping into the debate in such an unprecedented way is huge disappointment in the prime minister, David Cameron. “The feeling is that we can’t leave it to him. Look what happened at the last referendum we had, on Scotland. We nearly lost Balmoral and the shoots. Nicola Sturgeon could be sat in that castle now – we know she had her eye on it – it was a damn close-run thing.” Royal circles found particularly offensive Cameron’s portrayal of the Queen as having “purred down the line” when he telephoned her to tell her Scotland had voted against independence. “The cheek of the man. There was real fury about that comment. And the irony of it – coming from a fat cat,” said a source. [From The Guardian] The whole piece is rich with irony, and they claim that the Palace is going to send Prince Philip out on his 95th birthday in June, possibly to tell Ant & Dec that Britain should stay in the EU. So… yeah, I’m dumb. I honestly thought this was real for a solid hour this morning. While my glee soured to disappointment with the realization that it was a prank, I still have to tip my hat to the Guardian. This is a brilliantly written piece of satire. Well done! Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, WENN.