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The Guardian brilliantly trolled the British royal family for April Fool’s Day

The Guardian got me. The British paper pulled an April Fool’s Day prank and they got me. I really, really thought their “exclusive” royal report was for real, and I was even in the midst of writing it up before it occurred to me that this was an April Fool’s Day prank. You can read their hilariously trolling piece here. The gist? For more than a month, the British papers have been going HAM on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. For the most part, the royal stories have been a sideshow to the larger political conversation in the UK, which is about “Brexit.” Brexit = the British exit from the European Union. The vote isn’t until June, and it’s one of the big political stories in Britain. So… the Guardian suggested that there was a conspiratorial connection between the political Brexit story and the gossip stories about “Work-Shy Will” and the “Duchess of Do-Little.” According to the Guardian’s prank, the royals believe there’s a connection. I should note that they’re actually basing this in reality: one of turning points for William was his vague speech back in February which many interpreted as “William speaks out against Brexit.” There were also stories last month in which real “sources” claimed the Queen is pro-Brexit. So, the Guardian slyly claims that the royal family thinks there’s a conspiracy afoot, and they plan on saying something about it. The royal family is seriously considering making a dramatic intervention in the referendum debate with an announcement that it supports Britain remaining inside the European Union. That the royals are prepared to risk provoking a potential constitutional crisis shows just how deep their anger is at parts of the British press and senior politicians. According to a senior source close to official figures, there was particular resentment at the Sun’s newspaper’s depiction of the Queen as a Brexit supporter. But the anger runs through the generations at Buckingham Palace: there was fury at the claims about “workshy” Prince William, a campaign mounted by two papers with an anti-EU stance, the Daily Mail and the Sun. And there was a feeling last week that rock bottom had been hit with a story in the Mail that Kate was now posher than the other royals. Another well-connected source explained that the royals now see a tightening conspiracy between the pro-exit papers, notably the Sun, Telegraph and Mail, and certain politicians. “The leader of Vote Leave is Michael Gove – that awful little leaker who put it about that the Queen wanted out. They can’t stand him. And as for Boris, the other main outer – he’s a cycling maniac from Islington. All he has done for the royal family is make it difficult to get around London in a decent-sized Daimler. And the third of the trio – Farage – what another awful little man.” Part of the reason for stepping into the debate in such an unprecedented way is huge disappointment in the prime minister, David Cameron. “The feeling is that we can’t leave it to him. Look what happened at the last referendum we had, on Scotland. We nearly lost Balmoral and the shoots. Nicola Sturgeon could be sat in that castle now – we know she had her eye on it – it was a damn close-run thing.” Royal circles found particularly offensive Cameron’s portrayal of the Queen as having “purred down the line” when he telephoned her to tell her Scotland had voted against independence. “The cheek of the man. There was real fury about that comment. And the irony of it – coming from a fat cat,” said a source. [From The Guardian] The whole piece is rich with irony, and they claim that the Palace is going to send Prince Philip out on his 95th birthday in June, possibly to tell Ant & Dec that Britain should stay in the EU. So… yeah, I’m dumb. I honestly thought this was real for a solid hour this morning. While my glee soured to disappointment with the realization that it was a prank, I still have to tip my hat to the Guardian. This is a brilliantly written piece of satire. Well done! Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News, WENN.

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Wendi Deng, 47, is apparently getting ‘serious’ with Pres. Vladimir Putin

When Rupert Murdoch married Wendi Deng in 1999, it was controversial. Murdoch was then a spry 68-year-old and Wendi was 31. At the time, it was his third marriage and her second. Deng has always been accused of trading in lovers and husbands for more money and power, and many side-eyed the fact that Deng had been the “homewrecker” two times in a row, breaking up her first husband’s marriage and then being the “other woman” in Murdoch’s second marriage. When the Deng-Murdoch marriage fell apart back in 2014, there were once again widespread rumors that Deng had already moved on to another more powerful lover, this time the very married Tony Blair. I don’t know what happened between Deng and Blair, but if it was ever something, it’s probably over now. Because Wendi Deng is reportedly dating… Vladimir Putin. How’s this for a new couple alert? The rumor circulating around the corridors of power — from Washington, D.C., to Europe and Asia — is that Vladimir Putin and Wendi Deng, Rupert Murdoch’s ex-wife, are dating. Reports of the pair have been floating around for years, ever since their respective divorces in 2014 and 2013. One insider close to the powerful leader tells Us Weekly the relationship is “serious.” The controversial Russian president, 63, was previously married to Lyudmila Putina for 30 years, with whom he shares daughters Maria, 30, and Yekaterina, 29. The Kremlin confirmed their divorce in April 2014. The politician rarely discusses his children, but during an annual news conference in December 2015, he boasted about his daughters to thousands of reporters, before shutting down more personal questions. “They studied only at Russian universities. I am proud of them. They continue to study and work. My daughters speak three European languages fluently. One of them can even speak one or two Oriental languages. They are making their first steps and are successful,” he told the crowd during the rare moment, before stating: “I never discuss questions related to my family. They are not involved in business or politics. They are not pushing for this.” Following Lyudmila and Putin’s split, the president was rumored to be dating Russian gymnast Alina Kabaeva. Putin was often featured in European gossip sites after Kabaeva stepped out in early 2015 looking “fuller,” igniting pregnancy rumors. Swiss newspaper Bild then reported that Putin had missed appearances because he had traveled to Switzerland to be by Kabaeva’s side, where she allegedly gave birth to their child at a Swiss hospital in March 2015. The Kremlin has repeatedly denied the rumors. Deng has yet to be spotted looking romantic with the Russian leader, but was seen boarding her pal Roman Abramovich’s yacht in St. Bart’s on Monday, March 28. Abramovich also happens to be friends with Putin. (According to the Daily Mail, the billionaire Chelsea Football Club owner reportedly gifted the president with a $35 million yacht in January.) [From Us Weekly] There’s no shadiness like Russian shadiness, my God. Putin received a “gift” of a $35 million yacht from Roman Abramovich? Yikes. And I still believe that Putin was dealing with that gymnast, Alina Kabaeva. In fact, that’s why the news surprised me so much – I was sure that if we ever heard anything else about Putin’s personal life, it was going to be that he married his young gymnast. As for the Deng-Putin power couple… I suspect they’ve both met their match. And it will either be perfect or it will be an utter disaster, nothing in between. I also suspect the timing of this confirmation is more about Wendi trying to stick it to her ex, Rupert Murdoch, for marrying Jerry Hall so quickly. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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Tyler Baltierra & Daughter Visit Catelynn Lowell in Rehab

Last week, Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell checked into rehab in order to receive treatment for a number of emotional issues. In the days prior to her departure, there were rumors that Catelynn and Tyler Baltierra were headed for divorce, as both newlyweds posted cryptic and troubling social media messages hinting at trouble in the home. Fortunately, Tyler put those fears to rest over the weekend when he tweeted about bringing daughter Nova to visit Catelynn for the Easter holiday. “On a flight to go see Cate & Nova first choked on a cracker, then puked up the cracker all over me & then pooped, all within a half hour!” he tweeted on Saturday. Catelynn has spoken openly about her past struggles with postpartum depression, and though she didn’t go into detail about her latest bout, she has confirmed that she’ll be in treatment for the next several weeks. In the meantime, Tyler seems to be holding things down at home. According to his social media pages, he spent the weekend completing a renovation project and catching Batman v Superman with friends. The location of Catelynn’s treatment facility is unknown, but it seems Tyler and Nova will spend the next few days at a nearby hotel. Watch Teen Mom online at TV Fanatic to relive all of Tyler and Catelynn’s ups and downs. 

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Susan Sarandon & Debra Messing are Twitter-beefing about Bernie Sanders

Susan Sarandon and Debra Messing are in a Twitter war. Those are words I never thought I would write. The whole thing started when Sarandon did an interview on Chris Hayes’ MSNBC show, All In. Here’s the exchange that got the controversy-ball rolling: SARANDON: I think Bernie would probably encourage people to [support Hillary if he loses] because he doesn’t have any ego in this thing. But I think a lot of people are, ‘sorry, I just can’t bring myself to [vote for Hillary].’ HAYES: How about you personally? SARANDON: I don’t know. I’m going to see what happens. HAYES: Really? SARANDON: Really. It’s dangerous to think we can continue the way we are with the militarized police force, with the death penalty and the low minimum wage and threats to women’s rights and think you can’t do something huge to turn that around. The country is not in good shape if you’re in the middle class. It’s disappearing. [From Salon] A lot of people took Sarandon’s words in the proper context and assumed that she was coming close to advocating for Democrats, liberals and progressives to stay home if Hillary Clinton gets the nomination. Sarandon was widely criticized for her “blind privilege” and more. She was even criticized by Hollywood actresses like Jamie Lee Curtis and Debra Messing. I respect but disagree with @SusanSarandon. A possible support of Trump over @HillaryClinton is dangerous 2 women, minorities & immigrants. — Jamie Lee Curtis (@jamieleecurtis) March 29, 2016 Of course I would never support Trump for any reason. If you watch the interview you'll see that's not what I said. https://t.co/wQk0cMmeyp — Susan Sarandon (@SusanSarandon) March 29, 2016 Susan Sarandon muses tht Trump prezcy wud b better 4 the country thn Hillary.Wonder if she'd say that if she were poor,gay,Muslim or immgrnt — Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) March 30, 2016 2- the idea that Susan Sarandon wud say that NOT supporting Hillary in a HRC/Trump race is a legitimate choice for Democrats, is insane. — Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) March 30, 2016 Then why didn't you say that? Please make that clear in the future. For women's sake if for no one else. https://t.co/gzB55L43qj — Debra Messing (@DebraMessing) March 30, 2016 After that, there was a flurry of tweets, retweets, replies, etc. For those you not following it, you can see Susan’s Twitter feed here and Debra’s feed here. Be careful of Debra’s Twitter, she’s talking to everybody and there are literally hundreds of tweets and re-tweets from the past few days. The basic gist seems to be that Susan left the door open for either voting for Trump (because he would start a revolution?) or staying home if Hillary Clinton got the nomination. Debra was being sort of pedantic about what Susan actually said and did not say during the interview, but the fact of the matter is that Susan is not advocating voting for anyone other than Bernie Sanders, even if Clinton gets the nomination. And considering the very real possibility of Donald Trump or Ted Cruz getting the GOP nomination, I do think that’s a privileged stance to take. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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“Courteney Cox & Johnny McDaid are apparently back together” links

Courteney Cox & Johnny McDaid are back together, it seems. [LaineyGossip] James Van Der Beek is procreating like a Duggar. [Dlisted] Some of the Vogue international covers… I love seeing these! [Go Fug Yourself] The National Enquirer is saying words about Ted Cruz. [The Blemish] Amy Adams plays games with Jimmy Fallon. [OMG Blog] Reese Witherspoon wears grumpy expression, yellow coat. [Celebslam] Khloe & Kourtney Kardashian went to church for Easter. [Buzzfeed] Crystal Reed has nice hair. [Moe Jackson] Lady Gaga had a big 30th birthday party blowout. [Wonderwall] LGBT groups file lawsuit against North Carolina’s ‘Bathroom Bill.’ [Jezebel] People are still talking about Brandi Glanville’s face. [Starcasm] Pietro Boselli has nice arms. [Socialite Life]

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Are the Cambridges allegedly considering a permanent move to London?

When I wrote about Ingrid Seward’s Mail-on-Sunday takedown of the Cambridges last week, I began to develop a theory about Prince William’s EAAA job. Sources have insisted that William barely even shows up to his part-time air-ambulance-pilot job, and when he does show up, he seems pretty bored. This is not a surprise – as soon as William began training for the job, I wondered if he would even make it a year in the position, and that was before we knew that he was really stretching the boundaries of what it means to work “part-time.” Anyway, I theorized that after William’s terrible month of sh-tty press, he would soon be announcing his retirement from the EAAA, and that he would be on to a new scheme to avoid royal work. Well, here’s something that adds to my theory – apparently, Will and Kate are looking to send George to a pre-prep school… in London! The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have put Prince George’s name down for his father’s old pre-prep school, Wetherby, I hear. It could be the clearest sign yet that the couple plan to relocate from Anmer Hall in Norfolk and take up permanent residence at Kensington Palace, which is half a mile from the all-boys’ school. There had been speculation that George, right, who currently attends a Montessori nursery, would go to Beeston Hall in Cromer. That would have allowed Kate, 34, to remain at secluded Anmer Hall, the home she retreated to when she abandoned the 115-year-old tradition of a female Royal presenting the Irish Guards with shamrocks on St Patrick’s Day. Although she relishes raising George, two, and his sister Charlotte in the privacy and tranquility of the countryside, it now seems that the Duchess may feel duty-bound to return to London and become full-time working Royal. It would also explain why Kate undertook a taxpayer-funded £4.5 million refurbishment of Kensington Palace in 2014. If George takes up his place, he will start at Wetherby next year. The move will put Kate and William in the capital at a time when the Queen, by then 91, will be reducing her workload. William and his brother Harry attended Wetherby, which charges £6,500 a term, before they left for Eton feeder Ludgrove prep. Wetherby pupils wear a distinctive red tie, grey cap and scarlet-trimmed blazer – I’m sure George will look adorable. [From The Daily Mail] Is this a signal that someone – either the Queen or Charles – has put their foot down about this increasingly farcical Gentleman Country Farmer/Norfolk Scheme? Or is this much to do about nothing? It’s possible William and Kate are still focused on doing the bare minimum from Norfolk, but they want to make it look like they’re considering moving to London. I guess I have problems believing that Will and Kate would relocate from Norfolk to London without months of more drama and tantrums. Speaking of, did you guys read the epic takedown of Kate in the Daily Mail on Friday? It was the best of British shade – they acted like they were complimenting her when really they were picking apart everything she has done as a duchess. They even call her the Duchess of Do-Little!! Yikes. The Mail points out that Kate “has become even more regal than her Royal in-laws” by half-mocking the fake-poshness of her accent, the changes she’s made to the way she walks and has her photograph taken, how she sits and how she’s all but abandoned High Street for customized pieces at an “astronomical cost.” What’s weird is that I disagree with a large part of this famed “transformation” Kate has made to make herself more regal. She spends a lot of her father-in-law’s money, for sure, but it wasn’t so long ago that we were getting regular Marilyn Moments, sausage curls, jeggings-as-formalwear, etc. While I know that’s not the point – the point was to roll our eyes at Kate’s nouveau riche ways – I found myself rolling my eyes at the Daily Mail’s overblown way of trying to take her down. Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.

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‘Batman v. Superman’ opens with $424 million worldwide: sad or awesome?

DC Comics apologists aside, most critics and audience members thought Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice was a terrible movie. But that didn’t stop anyone and everyone from going to see it on Easter weekend. On Friday, the film was already been tracked for a $180 million opening weekend domestically, and by Sunday, it had pretty much met that, opening with $170.1 million domestic, and $424 million worldwide. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice shattered box office records, opening to an estimated $170.1 million domestically over Easter weekend. Not only did Zack Snyder’s superhero epic set a new record for the all-time biggest March opening, obliterating The Hunger Games’ $152.5 million, but Batman v Superman now stands as the sixth biggest opening of all time. It also squeaked by Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 ($169.2 million) to earn Warner Bros.’ biggest opening ever. Internationally, it added another $254 million for a worldwide total of $424 million — the fourth-biggest global opening of all time. Domestically, Batman v Superman didn’t manage to surpass its Marvel counterparts like The Avengers or Iron Man 3, but it did beat both globally, becoming only the fourth movie in history to cross $400 million worldwide in one weekend. Ben Affleck’s Batman also dethroned Christian Bale in The Dark Knight Rises ($160.9 million) and The Dark Knight ($158.4 million) as the biggest Batman and DC Comics openings ever. Batman v Superman’s runaway success spells good news for Warner Bros. after a lackluster 2015, and the studio had several pricy flops last year, including Jupiter Ascending, The Man From U.N.C.L.E., and Pan. [From EW] Well… good for Warner Bros… I guess. The good news is that there won’t be mass layoffs at Warner Bros because everyone over there decided to spend money like drunken sailors on shore leave. The bad news is that some people will start to believe that this (unsustainable) business model has legs. And while it shows that the Batman and Superman names are enough to get people in seats, that doesn’t mean that the film will stand the test of time, you know? But it does show that people are excited for the Wonder Woman movie, and that the Justice League movie is going to continue happening unabated. The next big test for this core audience of teen and 20-something men who love dark-as-hell superheroes and sh-tty scripts? The Suicide Squad, which comes out in August. Sad Batfleck is in that too. Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet, Getty.