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Farrah Abraham Dumps Simon Saran, Shills Dating App

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Remember last week when we reported that Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran are back together? Well, it turns out the reconciliation only lasted about as long as Farrah’s porn career. According to her latest Instagram posts, it seems Farrah and Simon have broken up once again. Or at the very least, Farrah is pretending they’ve called it quits so that she can hawk a new dating app with the implication that she’s looking to get busy with the sad souls who download it. Ms. Abraham posted the above photo yesterday, along with the following caption: “I love this new sexy app for singles who like to go out.” She went on to extol the virtues of Peeq, which from what we can tell is a Tindr-like app for those seeking no-strings-attached sex. In another post, Abraham encouraged users to “find” her on the app. Again, Farrah is the type who would encourage “sexy singles” to hunt her down even if she were involved in a committed relationship, so there’s no guarantee that she’s once again kicked Simon to the curb. But whatever the case, she’s Instagram single once again, and in Farrah Land, isn’t that all that really matters? No, it’s also worth noting that Farrah is looking more like a soulless blow-up doll every day and poppin’ bottles with a six-foot Pikachu for some reason: The best part is that in the caption for this pic, she offers zero explanation for the presence of everyone’s favorite Pokemon. Like so many things in Farrah’s life, it only makes sense to Farrah. Just kidding, there’s no way she devotes the slightest thought to any aspect of her absurd existence. Watch Teen Mom online to relive all of Farrah’s mist ridiculous moments.

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Duchess Kate repeats a McQueen for the Queen’s garden party: cute or meh?

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I wouldn’t have even used this ^^ photo but the @KensingtonRoyal Twitter account actually posted this pic to promote the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s appearance at Tuesday’s Buckingham Palace garden party. Isn’t that interesting? The KensingtonRoyal account – the official account for Will, Kate and Harry – is often accused of cherry-picking particular images that reflect the younger royals as looking particular good and/or engaged. But this photo seems particularly unfortunate for Kate – it’s almost like the KP press office is just owning the fact that this is Kate’s Social-Interaction-Face. As for Will and Kate’s appearance at the palace yesterday, Kate has been to the annual garden party several times before, but this is William’s first time. I would suspect that, if pressed, his press office would say that this is the first time he’s ever had an opening in his diary to attend! Kate repeated an Alexander McQueen coatdress which we saw back in 2013, for Prince George’s christening. I didn’t really care for it then, and I really don’t care for it now. The boob ruffle is just odd, and whenever Kate tries to move her arms (to touch her hair, or whatever), the coat bunches up in weird places. The whole thing looks sloppy, and it’s not just the sh-tty tailoring. It’s the design! Why would anyone want a big, vertical ruffle down their chest? Will and Kate also chatted with some medical personnel at the garden party, because apparently the “support” OBGYNs who delivered George and Charlotte were there. Maybe this makes me sound prissy, but I would not want to socialize with my gyno at a garden party at the palace. That just seems awkward and unnecessary. You can read some quotes from the doctors here. They’re very forthcoming with details about the lead-up to the royal births. Also, check out the refreshments at the garden party! I hope Will and Kate are taking notes on the Queen’s refreshments – when Will and Kate hosted a get-together before their India-Bhutan tour, the refreshments were really struggling. That strawberry (??) cake looks AMAZING. ? A selection of the cakes available to guests at today's Garden Party pic.twitter.com/E1ZL1KaYtX — The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) May 24, 2016 Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images Photos courtesy of @KensingtonRoyal and Getty.

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Angelina Jolie will be a visiting professor at the London School of Economics

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Angelina Jolie’s film career has been sidelined largely by her own choice for a while now, especially in the past year. After the terrible reviews of By the Sea, Angelina has spent months focusing on her humanitarian work. Brad is currently filming a movie with Marion Cotillard in England and all over Europe, and so Angelina and the kids have been calling London home for months. It’s been a good phase for Angelina, mostly because I think she really has just been focusing completely on humanitarian work. She’s set up a new advocacy partnership focusing on sexual crimes in conflict and war. She also gave an amazing speech at the BBC last week. And now this… Dame Saint Angelina is now Professor Dame Saint Angelina. Angelina Jolie Pitt is taking her passion for women’s rights and gender equality to the classroom. The actress, 40, is set to join the London School of Economics as a visiting professor for the new masters course on women, peace and security for the 2016-2017 school year. As a visiting professor, Jolie Pitt will deliver guest lectures, participate in workshop and public events, and continue research on projects. “I am very encouraged by the creation of this master’s programme. I hope other academic institutions will follow this example, as it is vital that we broaden the discussion on how to advance women’s rights and end impunity for crimes that disproportionately affect women, such as sexual violence in conflict,” Jolie Pitt said in a statement. “I am looking forward to teaching and to learning from the students as well as to sharing my own experiences of working alongside governments and the United Nations.” The course, which is the first of its kind internationally, was launched last year by Jolie Pitt and Britain’s former foreign secretary, William Hauge – who will also serve as a visiting professor. The Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security Ambassador Melanne Verveer said they, too, are looking forward to bringing the program to the stateside campus. “I was pleased to meet with Angelina Jolie during my recent trip to London on ways we at Georgetown University can continue the collaboration between our sister programs on both sides of the Atlantic,” said Verveer. “We look forward to welcoming Angelina and former foreign secretary Hague to Georgetown in the future.” [From People] I would have loved to take a class with a Professor Jolie. The class seems tailored to her expertise too, and the LSE is also where Jolie and William Hague founded the Centre on Women, Peace and Security last year. My guess is that Jolie’s professorship will be part of the new center/program. Can you even imagine being a masters student and having Angelina Jolie walk into the classroom? Can you imagine having her as an adviser? Or participating in small workshops with her? Those students are so lucky. Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

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Sir Mix-a-Lot defends Blake Lively’s right to be proud of her ‘Oakland booty’

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L.A. face with an Oakland booty A photo posted by Blake Lively (@blakelively) on May 17, 2016 at 5:04pm PDT It’s been two days since Blake Lively posted this ^^ Instagram about her “L.A. face with an Oakland booty.” And for what it’s worth, she hasn’t taken down the Instagram post. Perhaps because she didn’t and doesn’t seen anything wrong with a Becky quoting a Sir Mix-a-Lot song. The “LA face with an Oakland booty” is a lyric from Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back,” a song that has an amazing shelf-life, right? Well, someone FINALLY asked Sir Mix-a-Lot what he thought about Blake quoting his song and claiming that she too has an “Oakland booty.” He likes Blake Lively’s butt and he cannot lie. Hip hop star Sir Mix-a-Lot defended the actress a day after she was lampooned on social media for using a lyric from his seminal hit “Baby Got Back” to caption a photo of her derriere in a form-fitting gown. “I don’t think she’d wear that dress if she thought that booty is horrible — and to me, it ain’t horrible,” he told the Daily News on Thursday. Despite his approval, a slew of fans blasted Lively for captioning the Instagram photo “L.A. face with an Oakland booty” — with some accusing the Caucasian starlet of turning the black female body into a punchline. But Mix-a-Lot doesn’t understand the backlash. “I don’t get it at all,” he said. “She’s saying she’s proud of her butt. I’m glad she embraced the look, because that’s what I wanted (with the song).” Mix-a-Lot says he wrote “Baby Got Back” in 1992 to celebrate women in a time where magazines and TV shows were churning out unrealistic beauty standards. He wanted curvaceous ladies to embrace their bodies, and he says his booty-loving anthem applies to women of all colors and ethnicities. Therefore, the rapper says, it’s important for naysayers to figure out what exactly Lively’s intention was with the caption before they immediately assume she was dissing black culture. “All I would say to the critics is let’s better understand the context of what she said,” Mix-a-Lot contended. “If what she’s saying is ‘I have this butt that Mix-a-Lot was talking about in ‘Baby Got Back,’ that’s a good thing. She’s saying I’ve embraced this ideal of beautiful. However, if what she’s saying is ‘I cannot believe I got this fat, this is horrible,’ then I agree with the critics,” he added. But the 52-year-old artist doesn’t believe that’s the case, and he’s glad the 28-year-old Lively hasn’t removed the controversial photo amid the wave of backlash. “I’m glad she didn’t pull it down, he said. “I don’t think she should.” [From The NYDN] I understand what he’s saying about Blake perhaps making a statement of embracing her curves and how it’s all body positive and la de da, but there IS a racial element to it, right? We’re not just imagining that. For a white woman to publicly proclaim that she has an “Oakland booty” is questionable at best. But anyway, what is Sir Mix-a-Lot going to say? Of course he likes her booty. Photos courtesy of Instagram, WENN.

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Blake Shelton claims Gwen Stefani ‘saved my life’: sweet or melodramatic?

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Well, I hoped for a “Gwake Break,” but it doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon, as the couple have continued to ride the publicity train for their new duet. Blake taped an interview for CMT’s Hot 20 Countdown. He told the show’s host, Katie Cook, that the staggering number of views on his debut performance of “Go Ahead and Break My Heart” with Gwen Stefani on The View is due to the “media craze around us being together.” I think a lot of it had more to do with people’s curiosity to hear the California-born ska/rocker sing with the country crooner than anything else. Blake also had this to say about his new relationship: “It’s not something anybody could’ve seen coming besides God I guess because it doesn’t look like it would make sense. All I can tell you is that it does. It just makes the most perfect sense for us and where we’re at in our lives. I tell people all the time, ‘Gwen saved my life last year.’ She did. I think she’d tell you something similar about me.” “This thing just happened because of some things we were going through. Even coming into [her] second season [working on] The Voice, I didn’t even really know her that well. All of a sudden this thing just happened because of some things we were going through and it saved my life, period.” [From CMT/E!] Wow. Chart-topping country hits, a successful TV show, adoring fans, but it’s Gwen who “saved his life?” That’s kind of a bold statement. I guess Blake is starting to run out of talking points – which he should by now. Blake continued to talk about his relationship on Thursday’s TODAY, saying out loud what a lot of people were thinking when he got together with Gwen. It’s a little weird. We could not be, on paper, any more different. I mean, I’m a country singer and she’s a ska, rock, pop, whatever it is…and it’s just an odd idea. But man, it’s a lot of fun. I’ve gotta be honest about that. [From TODAY/US] As he mentioned backstage after the song’s debut, Blake again told CMT (and TODAY…sheesh) that he wrote the song mainly to woo Gwen and was relieved that she liked it so much. Gwen admitted on an appearance on Chelsea Handler’s talk show on Wednesday that her biggest fear about the tune was, as she put it, “Whoa what if I don’t like it, huge turn off!” Fortunately for Gwake, that wasn’t the case. Gwen went on to say, “I listened to it and thought ‘Oh my God, I love this.’” I love @chelseahandler Gx A photo posted by Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) on May 17, 2016 at 1:53pm PDT Yes, Blake is all kinds of charming in his “aww, shucks” kind of way and Gwen is still pretty cool…and if it’s not a publicity stunt (which I hope it isn’t) I remain happy for them. But please you two, give it a rest already. We get it, you’re both over the moon about each other and your duet was well-received. I just think when you talk about your relationship this much, something about it just comes off as a touch of “trying too hard-itis.” Or is it just me? Embed from Getty Images Embed from Getty Images Photo credit: WENN.com, Getty Images, Instagram/Gwen Stefani

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George Zimmerman Sells Gun Used to Kill Trayvon Martin for Disgustingly Large Sum

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Last week, it was widely reported that murderous professional Internet troll and sentient colon polyp George Zimmerman planned to auction off the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin. In a description he posted on the United Gun Group’s website, Zimmerman described the weapon as a “piece of American history” because that’s a normal way to view the gun used to kill a teenager – if, of course, you were born to bring evil into the world, a la Viggo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II. Zimmerman opened the bidding at $5,000. Proving that there’s still some good in the world, the auction quickly became so overwhelmed with fake bids that the UGG’s website crashed. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to halt the sale of the weapon, as the site continued to host the auction, just with a complex email verification process in place of its usual login. It’s partially because of the increased security that we don’t know exactly how much the gun sold for, but TMZ is reporting that the auction netted Zimmerman a nauseating $120,000. And what will he use the money for? Well, if you know anything about Zimmerman, you won’t be surprised to learn that he’s donating the proceeds to legal groups that fight against the Black Lives Matter movement and anti-Hillary Clinton Super PACs. Clearly a man with no politically- or racially-charged axe to grind whatsoever. And for those who don’t know much about Zimmerman, we recommend you take a gander at what he’s been up to in the years since his controversial murder trial. Highlights include hitting his girlfriend with a wine bottle and initiating more unecessary gunplay because we imagine if you could see the world through George Zimmerman’s eyes, it would look like a first-person shooter game. There are rumors that a famous figure (some say Kendrick Lamar) purchased the gun just to destroy it. We’d like to believe that, but it seems too good to be true. We hate to sound cynical, but sometimes in life, evil simply triumphs over good. Case in point – George Zimmerman walks the streets as a free man. View Slideshow: 17 Celebrities Who May Have Killed People

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Melania Trump on The Donald: ‘He’s not Hitler. He wants to help America’

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Melania Trump covers the latest issue of DuJour Magazine, and this might be the best interview Melania has done thus far. And I’m saying that as someone who enjoyed Melania’s crazy GQ interview last month. This DuJour piece is even better! Melania comes across as unapologetically elitist, hilariously vapid and politically tone-deaf. Basically, it sounds like she and Donald Trump are perfect for each other. You can read the full piece here (it is long, but totally worth it), and here are some highlights: She doesn’t drink Starbucks: “I don’t drink Starbucks,” she says. You don’t drink coffee? I ask. “I drink coffee, but I don’t drink Starbucks. My son likes it, the what do you call it? The Frappuccino? He likes that.” The Clintons’ wedding gift to the Trumps? “I don’t think they sent a gift. Some people didn’t send gifts.” How she’s been misrepresented in the media: “That I’m shy. I’m not shy. I know what I want, and I’m selective.” On Chris Matthews’ leering comment about her model-strut: “Unbelievable. That’s what I’m saying! I’m not only a beauty, I’m smart. I have brains. I’m intelligent… I would just say, Men will be men.” Where she shopped for furniture when she first moved to NYC: “I went to Crate & Barrel. Does that still exist or no?” She moved in with Trump before they were married: “When I moved here with my husband, we weren’t married yet—so I kept my apartment.” Meeting Michael Jackson: “I met Michael Jackson. It was here in New York in the Pierre Hotel. He called us, so we went over and we had dinner. Just after dinner, we were chatting on the sofa and my husband went into another room to see some art somebody wanted to show him. And Michael said to me, ‘Hey, when Trump comes back, let’s start kissing so he will be jealous!’ ” They didn’t kiss, she says, “No, no, no. But we were laughing so hard.” She’s not a famewhore: “I have a life. I go out every day. I bring my son to school. I pick him up. I’m not an attention seeker. I’m not the one who calls paparazzi, ‘I have lunch with the girlfriends, and I’m going to this restaurant.’ I get along [with] the moms at the school pick-up, it’s ‘Hello, how are you?’ But it’s not friends friends. I like quality over quantity.” Her 10-year-old son doesn’t sleep on the same floor as his parents: “The third floor is Barron’s. It’s much easier that way. For him as well. He has friends over, he has his toys. He has a play date tomorrow and is bringing two friends over. They come here, they go upstairs and they play. They kick a ball, they play with iPads. I don’t allow Xbox before homework is done.” What happens for immigrants, like Melania, who want to come to the US legally: “The law needs to be changed to help those kind of people. But they can’t just sneak in and be here. That’s what I’m saying. I do have sympathy. I’m a very compassionate person. But don’t sneak in and stay here without papers. We need to follow the law. If the law needs to be different, we need to do that.” On Louis CK calling Trump “Hitler”: “We know the truth. He’s not Hitler. He wants to help America. He wants to unite people. They think he doesn’t but he does. Even with the Muslims, it’s temporary… Maybe he needs to say it in a softer way. He doesn’t go after religions. He feels like we need to know who’s coming to this country. If not, we don’t have a country. That’s how he feels. We see how he is, and he wants to unite the country and bring people together and bring jobs back.” On campaigning in Iowa: “It was kind of a fun experience. We stayed in a hotel. It was clean. It was, I think, a Holiday Inn. You do it in a fun way. My husband knows me and how I am. I like beautiful stuff. I live the life. It’s funny when we go and travel. They don’t have five-star hotels there, but you go with it. It was a great experience in Iowa, because we went to an Evangelical church on Sunday. The church we got married in is very different. In Iowa there was a band, there was singing. It was very different, but it was a great experience. Being on the campaign trail and traveling around the country is hard work.” [From DuJour] Aren’t these quotes amazing? The Crate & Barrel thing, the way she obviously charmed by the peasants in Iowa, the way she has to mention that it’s hard work on the campaign trail because there aren’t many five-star hotels. What else is there? Her obliviousness to the privilege she had as a white, European model immigrating to the US versus those other people. The fact that she keeps insisting that she’s all about being a stay-at-home mother while her 10-year-old son has an entire floor in Trump Tower! There’s also a lengthy section where Melania tries to convince DuJour that Donald Trump values her ideas and that she’s one of the few people who can really advise him. If you believe that… well, God bless. Update: I misidentified Barron as 7-years-old originally, but he’s 10. Photos courtesy of WENN, DuJour.