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Kim Kardashian: Wrap Your Next Gift With My Butt Cheeks!

Next time you buy a gift for a loved one, show them how much you really care by enveloping the keepsake in a paper shroud of Kim Kardashian's butt cheeks. Yes, this is a thing you can actually do now, thanks to the shameless promotion of Kim K. herself. As owner of the world's most famous ass, Kim has plastered her cartoon Kimoji butts all over a sheet of high-end paper and is selling the rolls for $35 a pop. Thirty-five dollars? It'd be far cheaper to DIY with a few copies of her Paper magazine shoot and some Elmer's glue, but that's just me. Actually, no. Because who wants to receive any sort of present wrapped in Kim's ass? We see that thing all day, err day in all of our internet feeds, whether we want to or not. But don't despair, if you prefer the other end of Kim's bod, you can also purchase a roll of the wrap featuring her cry face. At this point, pics of Kim's butt or any other body part is truly just passe and barely worth a glance, because they're not exactly in short supply. Recently, the selfie queen took it all off for GQ magazine, and the only one who even seemed to look twice was her husband Kanye West. Actually, we take that back. Her ex-husband Kris Humphries reportedly described her images in the magazine as "scrumptious," although Gossip Cop refuted that claim. Ironically, even though Kim's ample ass has brought her fame and fortune, she now wants to downsize her badonkadonk. While she's met her goal of losing all the weight she gained while pregnant with her son Saint West, she says wants to lose 12 more pounds of butt weight to get down to 120. "My butt and my hips are the last to go, but I'm not stopping!" Kardashian said. “I want to lose my bum, not all the way but it’s weird how your body changes with different babies," she told fans at London's Vogue Festival last month. “I want to get to Kim 2010-11 so I’m really going to focus and get there,” she added. And when that happens, she can re-brand the wrapping paper as "Vintage Kim" and charge an extra $25. She already sent some to Kylie Jenner, who posted it on Snapchat:

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Kim Kardashian goes OFF on Taylor Swift for endlessly ‘playing the victim’

Never let it be said that Kim Kardashian doesn’t know how to get the maximum amount of attention. She’s the master of “getting attention.” It is basically her only real skill. She can’t dance, sing, write, have an original thought, model or style herself. But she’s good at getting attention. First off, GQ released their full editorial and interview with Kim and the whole thing is crazy. The editorial is full-on porn and very NSFW, and you can see GQ’s full package here. As for the interview… Kim talks and talks and talks. But the conversation about Taylor Swift is amazing. Kim tells her version of events for the controversy around Kanye’s lyric: “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why, I made that bitch famous / God damn / I made that bitch famous.” Kanye maintained from the very beginning that he sought and received Taylor’s approval for that lyric. Team Swifty always claimed that Kanye is a horrible monster who was once again trying to destroy Taylor. Kim’s version is AMAZING. Even more amazing? GQ got Taylor’s people to make an absolutely bonkers comment too!! Kim says Taylor’s deep emotional wound is nonsense—okay, she says it’s a lie—and that there’s video proof, because a videographer was actually filming their phone call. Why? Because Kim’s husband commissions videographers to film everything when he’s recording an album, for posterity (and possibly, one day, a documentary). And this is where it gets sticky. “She totally approved that,” Kim says, shaking her head in annoyance. “She totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t. I swear, my husband gets so much sh-t for things [when] he really was doing proper protocol and even called to get it approved.” Kim is on a roll now, speaking faster and more animatedly than at any other point during our time together. “What rapper would call a girl that he was rapping a line about to get approval?” Let’s stipulate here that Kim Kardashian West is not the kind of person who forgets that the tape-recorder light is blinking. But just because a rant is carefully chosen for its audience doesn’t mean it isn’t genuine. Swift, Kim insists, “totally gave the okay. Rick Rubin was there. So many respected people in the music business heard that [conversation] and knew. I mean, he’s called me a bitch in his songs. That’s just, like, what they say. I never once think, [gasping] ‘What a derogatory word! How dare he?’ Not in a million years. I don’t know why she just, you know, flipped all of a sudden.… It was funny because [on the call with Kanye, Taylor] said, ‘When I get on the Grammy red carpet, all the media is going to think that I’m so against this, and I’ll just laugh and say, ‘The joke’s on you, guys. I was in on it the whole time.’ And I’m like, wait, but [in] your Grammy speech, you completely dissed my husband just to play the victim again.” Were they in touch after that? “No. Maybe an attorney’s letter she sent saying, ‘Don’t ever let that footage come out of me saying that. Destroy it.’ ” She sent one? “Yeah.” I ask Kim how Taylor Swift’s people could have known about the footage, if Swift didn’t even realize she was being recorded in the first place. Kim tells me she isn’t sure, but she thinks someone from Team Kanye might have called someone from Team Taylor. “And then they sent an attorney’s letter like, ‘Don’t you dare do anything with that footage,’ and asking us to destroy it.” She pauses. “When you shoot something, you don’t stop every two seconds and be like, ‘Oh wait, we’re shooting this for my documentary.’ You just film everything, and whatever makes the edit, then you see, then you send out releases. It’s like what we do for our show.” GQ later contacted Kanye’s reps to inquire about the possible video footage and threat of legal action from Swift’s team. While Team Kanye asserted that Kanye and Taylor’s conversation had been filmed and that they had heard from her lawyers, they declined to provide further proof. A spokesperson for Taylor Swift declined to directly answer questions seeking clarification on the matter and instead provided the following statement, printed here in radiant completeness: “Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect. Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place. It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.” [From GQ] First let me say… Kanye and Kim do need to stop talking about this. Everyone else has moved on. I even believe the Kanye-version of events and I think he needs to move on. But the details provided here are just… incredible. Taylor’s lawyers trying to shut down footage of her approval of the lyrics, her manipulation of the situation to make it seem like Kanye was “humiliating” her again, and that epic clarification from her people? Bonkers. Oh, and the rest of the GQ interview is rather glorious. This is one of my new favorite Kim quotes: “All my friends and my sisters say, ‘You guys are so perfect for each other. There’s no one that would want to sit in your closet for hours with you and try on clothes.’” That’s probably true. GQ also mocks Kim’s “empire” in many ways, but even they have to admit that her empire (based on superficiality and vapidity) is making major bank. Kim also says she’s voting for Hillary, which we knew already. Photos courtesy of Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott/GQ.

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Amber Rose: The Kardashian-Jenners are only famous because of Kim’s tape

Amber Rose has a new talk show! The Amber Rose Show is a weekly, not daily, talk show on VH1 and it debuts on July 8th at 11 pm. Considering the late-night scheduling and the fact that her show is on cable, I’m guessing that it will be pretty dirty and funny. It will also be sex-positive, at least that’s Amber’s goal. Amber chatted with the NYDN about her show and of course she had to throw a little bit of shade on Kim Kardashian and her family. Even though Amber and Kim have met up and sipped the tea, that doesn’t mean that Amber won’t take a few swipes here and there. On her beef with Kylie Jenner & Khloe Kardashian last year: “Being a dancer and dealing with older men, gave me the humility and knowledge to speak on such a subject [of Tyga and Kylie].” Why the Kardashians are famous: “But let’s face it. The only reason these girls have a career is because their older sister had a little fun on tape.” A sex-positive show: “I definitely wanted a platform to talk about ‘sex-positive’ and other issues to show people who I really am.” Hearing the comment “Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized”: “I deal with talk like that every day. I recently dealt with that when my ex (Kanye) said he had to take 30 showers after he’d been with me. We were happy when we were together and now I’m getting slut-shamed because we’re not anymore . . . and it’s unfair. I’m sick of it . . . and I’m here for my girls.” How she ended up with a talk show produced by Dr. Phil: The walk ended up on VH1 after she did a “slut-shaming” segment promoting the event on the Dr. Phil-produced “The Doctors.” “The producers loved me and told me I needed my own show. Dr. Phil was blown away by the pilot and he and his team have been helping me get my chops up . . . I’m being schooled by the best in the business.” [From The NYDN] I remember a time when Dr. Drew Pinsky did Loveline and that was one of the most sex-positive things on TV. And now Dr. Drew is using really sick people for ratings and Dr. Phil is suddenly the arbiter of sex-positivity? Wonders never cease. Anyway, it will be interesting to see if Amber’s show is successful. I think she’ll probably be a decent weekly talk show host, but I’m not sure if this particular show and format will be good for her. As for what she says about the Kardashians… no lies detected! Photos courtesy of WENN, Twitter.

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Blac Chyna slaps back at social media criticism of her pregnant body

Here are some photos of Blac Chyna out to lunch with friends in Miami a few days ago. As you can see, she’s wearing a pretty simple jumpsuit and flats and she’s obviously showing these days. I think Chyna/Angela Kardashian just has one of those body types that “show” very quickly, like Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson. Short, curvy women are never going to carry their pregnancies like Gisele Bundchen, you know? But that doesn’t stop people from freaking out online and on social media. After these photos came online, people were criticizing Chyna’s pregnant body, because the internet is a cesspool of body shaming. So Chyna had something to say: “To all you people out here with negative comments and insecure words (obviously because you have nothing else to do but criticize the next) I AM HAVING A BABY! Exactly what do you expect to see?! If I walked out in makeup and heels everyday to be beautiful to your means I WOULD BE MISERABLE AND UNHAPPY which are two vibes I refuse to transfer to my little one. If I comment on y’all pics and go in on them tired ass weaves or unblended ass contours I’ll be wrong right? It’ll be tragic! So stop playing & Put Some Respeck on my name.” [Via People] I’m including the Instagram comment below. I mean… she’s not wrong. Even when people were totally over Jessica Simpson’s back-to-back pregnancies and when everyone was laughing at Kim Kardashian’s pregnant figure, I defended those celebrity women. How tacky is it to pick on a pregnant woman? Of course their bodies are changing. Of course short, curvy women are going to carry differently than a tall model. So, if you want to talk sh-t about Chyna, do it about something other than her body. #BlacChyna has a message for all of you fat shammers ??? A photo posted by Celebri-Tea News☕️ (@celebri_teanews) on May 17, 2016 at 5:28pm PDT Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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Is Kim Kardashian actively trying to corrupt young Iranian women? Maybe.

Kim Kardashian has already arrived in Cannes. She’s been posting photos, and my guess is that she’ll be around for the big amfAR gala in Cannes on Thursday night. She’s also there to shill diamonds, judging from this exclusive interview she did with People Magazine – go here to read. She barely says anything about her family, but she makes sure to talk about the de Grisogono jewelry. So, basically, People published a little advertisement for de Grisogono and tried to pass it off as gossip. Which is just the kind of thing I would expect from an international corrupter of young people and women. Did you know that Iranian bureaucrats have a major hate-on for all things Kim K.? They think that she’s some sort of social-media Manchurian Candidate, only cat-faced and focused on getting people to look at her naked selfies. Iranian officials are questioning Kim Kardashian West’s Instagram popularity. The Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp – an organization tasked with protecting the country’s Islamic system and preventing foreign interference – has reportedly accused Kardashian West, 35, of working with Instagram as part of a complicated ploy to corrupt the Islamic republic’s lifestyle, targeting “young people and women” with provocative photos depicting a lifestyle at odds with Islam. According to a report from Iran Wire, a news website run by a group of Iranian journalists, the Organized Cyberspace Crimes Unit of the Revolutionary Guards targeted Kardashian West during an Iranian news program Sunday night. “Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model so Instagram’s CEO tells her, ‘Make this native,’ ” a spokesman for the unit, Mostafa Alizadeh, reportedly said. “There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well. We are taking this very seriously.” While talking to PEOPLE in Cannes, Kardashian said the accusations were news to her, as well: “What? For who?” she said of the claims. “I just landed and came here [from the airport]. I have not heard that one. Thanks for the heads-up.” According to the report, Alizadeh claimed the aim of Instagram’s CEO Kevin Systrom is to make fashion modeling native to Iran and that Kardashian West is implementing his scheme for him. (Kardashian’s paternal grandparents immigrated to the United States from Armenia, which shares a border with Iran.) “They are targeting young people and women,” Alizadeh said, according to Iran Wire. “Foreigners are behind it because it is targeting families. These schemes originate from around the Persian Gulf and England. When you draw the operational graph, you will see that it is a foreign operation.” The actions and statements are part of the OCCU’s long-running effort to combat “modeling and vulgarity” and illicit Instagram and Facebook usage, cracking down on “secret supporters and operators of Instagram” allegedly attempting to subvert the “Islamic Iranian lifestyle,” reports Iran Wire. Several women in Iran have reportedly been arrested, and Iran Wire reports Javad Babaee, supervisor of the Prosecutor’s Office for Media Crimes, also appeared during the Iranian news program and announced they have already warned 170 individuals, 29 of whom are being targeted for prosecution. “Our aim is to teach them a lesson and make them wake up,” Babaee reportedly said. At least some of the targeted Instagram accounts remain online, including the pages of Elnaz Golrokh and Hamid Fadaei, though their owners have left Iran. [From People] It’s all fun and games until some poor woman gets arrested and thrown in an Iranian jail for posting a duck-lip selfie online. Personally, I love a good a conspiracy and I was sitting here, really thinking about the claim that Kim is some kind of half-government, half-corporate stooge/operative trying to convince disaffected Iranian youths to pursue lives of self-indulgent narcissism and superficiality. And when you really think about it, it honestly doesn’t sound that f—king crazy, right? The only problem with the theory of the scheme is that every time Kim posts a photo of how she’s traveled alone on a private jet to the South of France (see below), it makes me want to declare a class war. Cannes we're here! ? KimKardashian pic.twitter.com/TrBVqej492 — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) May 17, 2016 Cannes! ?? pic.twitter.com/ocAakKKIjY — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) May 17, 2016 Photos courtesy of WENN.

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Jay Z: The REAL Reason He Skipped the Met Gala

Beyonce and Jay Z have been the talk of the entertainment world ever since she released her controversial “Lemonade” album less than two weeks ago. The great majority of the chatter has centered on the album’s lyrics, through which Bey calls out her husband for cheating and threatens divorce if it ever happens again. But throughout the media melee, the couple have remained suspiciously silent on the subject. A week after the album dropped, Beyonce attended the highly publicized Met Gala, but conspicuously absent was her husband. In fact, Jay Z’s no-show raised eyebrows everywhere. After all, Beyonce just announced to the world that her husband was a cheating sack of sh*t, and now she’s attending one of the most high-profile events of the year solo? However, a source tells E! News that Jay Z skipped the ball so the focus could remain on Bey and her new album. “They thought it was a good move that Beyonce go alone this year to the Met,” reveals the insider. View Slideshow: 2016 MET Gala: Worst-Dressed Stars! “They aren’t fighting but they thought it would be a better look if she came solo for her new album and all the hype that was attached to it.” According to a separate source, Queen Bey was cool with it “She was in a group that included Olivier [Rousteing], her sister and her sister’s husband,” the insider says. “They were hanging in their area having a great time.” While neither one have addressed the cheating allegations, Beyonce assured fans her marriage was on solid ground during a concert kicking off her “Lemonade” tour in Miami. “I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful husband. I love you so much,” she told the audience. Nevertheless, Jay Z was booed in Miami by the Beyhive around the same time. “Everywhere HOV goes, people are looking at him with a stank face,” a source revealed. Our guts are telling us that avoidance of further stank face could be real reason Jay Z chose to ditch the Met. That, and avoidance of further elevator attacks by Solange Knowles. View Slideshow: MET Gala 2016 Fashion: Which Couple Dressed Best?

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Chloe Grace Moretz Stands By Comments on Kim Kardashian’s Nude Selfie

Back in March, Kim Kardashian got everyone gabbing about a nude selfie she posted on Instagram. Now, we’ve seen Kim naked on many occasions, but something about this particular selfie generated a larger conversation among celebs and fans alike. While Bette Midler and Piers Morgan made jokes about the selfie queen’s post, Chloe Grace Moretz brought up a more serious point. “@KimKardashian I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than just our bodies,” the 19-year-old tweeted. Kardashian didn’t take kindly to the criticism and shot back with some shade. “Let’s all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is,” wrote Kim. “Your Nylon cover is cute boo.” Now, Moretz addresses her response in an interview with Glamour magazine. “I was at dinner with my family [when] I got the notification [on my phone],” she told the publication. “I look at it and I go, ‘Oh my God. She responded,'” Moretz remembered. “My mom took the most offense to it because it was girl-on-girl hate and Kim didn’t come back with an educated response on body confidence,” she continued. “It was aggressive, and also it was incorrect.” View Slideshow: Kim Kardashian Nude Selfie: 8 Celebrity Copycats! “I don’t have 45 million followers or a TV show that follows my life, but people know who I am,” she added. “I pride myself on having opinions, and I don’t express them in snarky ways toward people.” After Moretz’s tweet, Kardashian wrote an lengthy essay defending herself and denouncing critics who spoke out against her nude selfie for what she believed was slut-shaming. “I am empowered by my body. I am empowered by my sexuality,” wrote the reality TV star, adding, “It’s 2016. The body-shaming and slut-shaming—it’s like, enough is enough.” Moretz, however, didn’t buy Kardashian’s thinly veiled attempt to pass off an attention grab as a statement on female empowerment. “That picture wasn’t linked to body confidence. It wasn’t a #BodyConfidence or #LoveWhoYouAre,” she said. “It was done in a slightly voyeuristic light, which I felt was a little inappropriate for young women to see.”  “I would hate for young women to feel they need to post certain photos in order to gain likes, retweets, favorites, and male attention,” added the actress.  “I wasn’t slut shaming. It’s not about body shaming.” You know what? We believe her. View Slideshow: 15 of the Most EPIC Kardashian-Jenner Feuds Ever!